The Whiteboard Correction
by JustMyLuckiness
Summary: When Sheldon's Vulcan hearing detects the Beta Test conversation, he decides to intervene in an unexpected manner. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Will his efforts be successful? Spoilers through episode 5.14, AU after that.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Greetings! This is my first foray into Big Bang Theory fanfiction, so I hope I can do the fandom justice with this work. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, settings, network, or anything related to anything profitable. All I own are the mistakes, since no betas were harmed during the making of this chapter. **

**This story takes place just after episode 5.14: The Beta Test Initiation, so assume all spoilers up until that point, and AU thereafter. **

* * *

The Whiteboard Correction

* * *

"What the frak?" Howard wondered as his brain almost melted at the complexity of equations scrawled on the boards around Sheldon and Raj's joint office.

"Oh great. Is he stuck again?" Leonard continued, thinking back with no small amount of apprehension back to when he had to swim through a ball pit the last time Sheldon broke his brain.

Raj just looked helplessly around the small office, as his brow furrowed with the same confusion plaguing the others. The only difference was he had several days to try and puzzle out Sheldon's work. Repeated inquiries and offers of assistance had been met with a perfunctory wave and mumbled thanks, but Sheldon never explained his latest train of thought. "I don't know, dudes. I've been trying to figure this out for a week now, and it's just as muddy as the Ganges. That is to say, very muddy."

Letters like _S_, _A_, _Pr_, _Le_, and _Pe_ cluttered up every board in sight. It looked like years of work. At the very bottom right corner of his right most board was a short, simple equation: _(Pe-L) + (S-A) = X. Solve for X._

"S could stand for sulphur, but other than that I've never even heard of those elements before. Have you guys?" Leonard asked his companions, but they just shook their heads in denial.

The man in question ignored the clamor behind him. Numbers, letters, and symbols flew from his brain to the boards through his marker.

Leonard shifted from one foot to the other, looking back to the open office door. "Look, he's here, he's working, and he's fine, so let's let the man…do whatever it is that he's doing and go get ready for the bar tonight."

Howard turned with a gleeful grin. "I love Anything Can Happen Thursdays. Let's go hit the town, boys."

With a last thoughtful glance from Raj, the trio left Sheldon to his devices and closed the door behind them.

"Rats!" Sheldon stared at the whiteboard, willing the equations on the screen to coalesce into a more palatable solution, but the longer he puzzled over his work, the more convinced he was that there was only one answer that would bring about a satisfactory outcome. His mind involuntarily went back to that fateful evening when his Vulcan hearing caught the conversation outside his door. _A beta test indeed,_ he snorted to himself, _as if a second foray into drunken sexual encounters could pass for a romantic relationship any more successfully than their first failed effort._ No, a beta test could not be allowed to happen.

Checking his watch, he also realized that he would be alone this evening, as Raj, Howard, and Leonard would be frequenting one of the many watering holes near the university in their periodic attempt to achieve coitus with a random inebriated stranger. Time was of the essence if he was going to avert a potential disaster. Going back to his laptop, he pulled up a schedule. After confirming that Penny's schedule left her free that night, Sheldon got out his cell phone and sent a quick text message.

_I need your help with a problem this evening. Will you be available to come over and talk? _

After a few moments, his phone chimed in her response.

_You need MY help? Just us or will everyone be there? _

With a small smile, he answered

_It's their once-monthly evening of alcohol-fueled chaos, Anything Can Happen Thursday. They'll be at a bar somewhere._

While he clicked away on his laptop to confirm a delivery order for that evening, he could almost hear the gears in her head turning before she finally replied.

_I'll be there at 8. Dinner? _

He gave a breathy chuckle at his successful assessment of her response as he finalized his order online.

_I just ordered pizza to be delivered. _

Once again her reply came through moments later.

_Count me in._

Sometimes friendship means saving people from themselves.

* * *

At precisely 7:59, Sheldon was opening a box of pizza on the coffee table when the door opened. With an accelerating heart beat and slightly sweaty palms, he scanned the room to make sure everything was perfect. It had to be. Everything was riding on this evening. He would be employing a simple ruse to plant the seeds of doubt in her mind about the beta test, but in this case it was worth the effort it would take to hide the deception to avert another inevitably failed romantic endeavor.

Satisfied, he turned and observed the blonde vision that breezed into the living area, not waiting for the door to be opened for her. "Good evening, Penny."

"Always a pleasure, Sheldor," she greeted, "Didn't want to go out carousing with the Three Musketeers?"

He smiled slightly at her reference. "No. I find the quiet evenings much more conducive to relaxation and thought than smoky bars, crushing crowds, and music so loud I risk permanent hearing loss."

To his surprise, rather than rolling her eyes or getting the slightly pitying expression her face often took when she was more experienced than he on a particular matter, Penny's eyes clouded briefly before she nodded in agreement. "I never thought I would say this, but I think I'm starting to feel the same way."

"Really? May I ask why?" he inquired as he opened the pizza box and got two plates out of the cupboard.

She shrugged as she flopped down on the couch. "You know, I'm not really sure. I was just thinking about going out clubbing with some of my girlfriends last week, but then I thought about all the work involved in getting ready and then going out, the chance of meeting some skeezy guy…it's just getting old."

"Penny! Do you realize that you just conducted a rudimentary risk-benefit analysis?" Sheldon asked as he turned around and brought her a plate.

"Is that what that's called?" Penny deadpanned with a barely-concealed smirk, "I thought it was just me figuring out what was good for me after all this time."

Seeing the glint in her eye and recognizing her sarcasm for what it was, he stopped himself from explaining the components of a risk-benefit analysis. Thinking back to a comment she had made in a similar situation, he retorted, "You're just coitusing with me now, aren't you?"

Penny clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the guffaw that almost snuck out. When she was able to reply, she did so in kind, "Bazinga."

Sheldon felt a warm feeling settle in his gut at her evident admiration of the way he detected her sarcasm and kept up the banter. After a shared chuckle, he served two slices of the pizza and sat down in his spot.

"So what was it that you needed my help with?" she asked after a couple bites. When he didn't answer directly, Penny looked over and saw a sight she never expected: Sheldon Cooper was unsure of what to say to her. "Sheldon?"

Pausing to chew and swallow, he finally met her gaze, "It's urgent but not critical, so we can wait until after we're done eating," he deflected.

Unsure of how to best respond, Penny decided to go with the flow. She asked about his work and pretended to understand while he told her about his latest theories. Finding herself surprised that she actually was following most of what he said, she realized he was giving her the non-PhD version. Even more surprising was that he wasn't being condescending like Leonard had been the time he told her he didn't mind dating someone who wasn't as smart as he.

"How was your shift today, Penny?" Sheldon asked after another bite.

"Well, it was ok except for this one table. I had some trouble with some customers, but it's no big deal. What does worry me is that my boss might be cutting hours," she trailed off, plainly still worried about the possibility.

Out of the corner of her eye, she detected a shift in his expression. Penny turned to look at him, and before he could school his features, she saw subtle undertone that, to an actress used to portraying different emotions, signified distress.

He had to take a deep breath before calmly asking, "What sort of trouble did you have?"

He could tell the question made her uncomfortable. Pursing her lips while she decided how to respond, she finally lifted one arm in a halfhearted shrug. "Just a couple handsy frat boys. Nothing I haven't dealt with before."

Sheldon's hands clenched until the knuckles turned white. "You shouldn't be treated like that way," he almost growled.

Penny's eyes got huge and she blinked several times in rapid succession at how…protective...Sheldon was acting. "Sweetie, I promise it was nothing. I'm a blonde waitress in southern California. It's going to happen eventually."

He was far from placated. "I should have a talk with the manager. That behavior is totally unacceptable."

"Drunks spend a lot of money and are good tippers," she explained, wishing he would drop the subject, "Can we just let it go? It happened, it's over, and I'm past it. Now, what did you want me to help with? And I just have to say the fact that you are asking me for help is just a little weird."

It took him a few moments to shake the mood off, but then he visibly brightened. "Why is it weird? You've been of great help any number of times, like when I don't understand pop culture references. Radiohead springs to mind," Sheldon replied, genuinely perplexed at her confusion.

"I don't know, it's just that you know answers to questions I don't even know how to ask. I always feel so dumb around you guys, so the idea that you need my help is unexpected. Remember, I'm the blonde monkey here," Penny wrung her hands as she tried to deflect with self-deprecation.

Normally Sheldon Cooper could not care less about how his opinion of others affected their feelings to him, but after more than five years living near and getting to know Penny, she was anything but normal to him. "Penny, if I have ever said anything that made you feel inadequate or unintelligent in any way, I do apologize. You're not as intelligent as I am, but no one is. For what it's worth, I've always respected your intelligence, especially your street smarts and people sense. All that's missing is the drive to live up to your potential. You're far too smart to waste your life on menial jobs when with a little application you could succeed in any field you chose."

Penny had been the recipient of many compliments from men. Any number of boyfriends were only too ready to praise her physical attractiveness – if only to get into her pants – so she never lacked for attention. Somehow though, the few words Sheldon just told her about what he thought of her brain caused a lump to form in her throat. It took several swallows before she was able to say a raspy, "Thank you, Sheldon. Hearing that from you means a lot to me."

"I should hope it would," he said with a half-grin, "Anyway, you remember my sister Missy, don't you?"

The way he asked a question he already knew the answer to brought her smile back. "Yes, Sheldon. I may not have a photographic memory but I do remember your sister."

"It's an eidetic memory, but that's neither here nor there," he corrected with a dismissive wave, "Anyway, a friend of Missy's is having some trouble and I could use your help in determining the best advice to give her."

Penny leaned forward and set her plate on the coffee table. "Well that depends, I guess. What kind of trouble is this friend having?"

He got up and turned to his whiteboard, giving himself time to compose his thoughts so that they wouldn't appear to be either rehearsed or dishonest. "According to what I've heard, this young woman is thinking about getting back together with a man who not only wasn't good for her the first time, he's treated her very badly on the whole." As he finished, he turned to look at her again.

With a frown, Penny tried to get some more specifics. "Did Missy say anything in particular about what he's done? There are a lot of different kinds of jerks out there. Trust me, I've dated most of them." She watched the last comment caused his face to darken in much the same way as it did after she mentioned the frat boys, but just as before, it was gone in moments.

After a beat, he went through the list he had in his mind. "Oh where do I even begin? There was a veritable rap sheet of his offenses. Let's see, he tried to set up a date before they were in a relationship, luring her with promises that others would be there when he had no intentions of anyone else joining them; he had meaningless sex with three different women while proclaiming devotion to Missy's friend – for simplicity's sake I'll tell you her name is Peggy – flirted shamelessly with Missy in front of Peggy; he repeatedly belittled and mocked her intelligence and hobbies; he apparently started dating yet another woman while this woman was on a date with a friend of his; and finally he sabotaged a date Peggy was on with another man."

As Sheldon ran through his predetermined speech, Penny stood and started pacing around the living room. He watched as her expression became grimmer with every step. When he finished, she was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips and anger blazing like cold fire in her eyes. She looked every bit of a Valkyrie. His knees grew weak and he experienced a sudden rush of blood to his groin at the sheer power and passion displayed in the woman in front of him.

"You tell Missy that if Peggy was my friend, it would be Junior Rodeo time on that douche bag," she declared in a voice as cold as death itself, "No woman deserves to be treated that way. He sounds like the kind of guy who just wants to screw her and move on to the next conquest to feed his ego. If he really cared for her he wouldn't be sleeping with any woman that spread her legs."

Ruthlessly suppressing the urge to smile at her reaction, Sheldon instead simply said, "I will pass that along."

Penny wasn't done, however. "How in the world does this Peggy keep falling for that bull crap anyway?"

This was the most delicate answer yet. He had to be very careful with his phrasing. "I believe she uses alcohol to distance herself from her regrets and overlook his actions."

Her anger morphed to concern. "Oh sweetie, you need to tell Missy that her friend needs some serious help. I mean right the hell now. If she isn't careful she could end up an alcoholic. Do you want me to talk to Missy myself? I know this isn't really your favorite thing to deal with," she offered.

Although touched by her concern for his emotional stability, he demurred. "No, thank you Penny. I'll communicate everything you've told me this evening. I think your unique perspective, being outside the events, will help the situation greatly."

At a few places during his response, he paused for a beat too long, as if considering the best word to say. It was so unlike him that she narrowed her eyes, searching for any indicators that he wasn't telling her the whole story, but his face remained twitch-free. "Ok. I hope this girl gets out of the situation before she gets hurt again," she said before walking back over to the couch and plopping down.

Satisfied that Penny didn't suspect anything yet, Sheldon exhaled in relief and went into the kitchen to make some tea. He was about to offer Penny some when he heard a sharp intake of breath from the couch.

"What the hell is that?" she asked.

"What is what?" Sheldon replied, trying to figure out if the note he heard in her voice was indignation or bemusement.

He watched from the kitchen as she got up and gestured to the lone equation on one of his white boards. "This. I remember some math from high school. _(Pe-L) + (S-A) = X. Solve for X_. What the hell is that?"

_Drat! The one time she actually pays attention to something on my board, _he thought to himself. Thinking quickly, which he had to do since her eyes narrowed more and more the longer he remained silent, Sheldon forced calm into his voice. "Oh yes, that equation. It's an algebraic formula, but it's based in chemistry. Through other theories I've tested, I believe that formula will lead to the discovery of a new element." Once more her eyes narrowed, suspicion evident on her face as she waited for any of his tics to manifest, but since he didn't technically lie, there were no outward signs that he was deceiving her.

With a huff, Penny gave up her scrutiny and looked at her cell phone for the time. "Crap on a cracker. I was supposed to call my parents tonight. I have to get going, Sheldon. Thanks for dinner, and let me know how things turn out with Missy's friend. If she doesn't get things under control soon, she's going to need a lot of help."

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Penny. Thank you very much for all your advice on the matter," Sheldon said as he followed her to the door, "I hope you have a pleasant evening."

"Sweet dreams, Moon Pie," Penny said with a cheeky grin.

So good was his mood at how the evening had unfolded he neglected to correct her use of MeeMaw's nickname. Once the door closed behind her, he smirked to himself and walked slowly to his desk. "Let it begin," he muttered softly.

* * *

**A/N: So far I have just three chapters mapped out for this story, but depending on the response, more might be a possibility. **

**Please leave reviews! Constructive criticism will help make sure I get the finer points of the story right, but meaningless vitriol left by anonymous users will be ignored. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Greetings! Here I am again with an update. **

**Unlike many wonderful writers in this and other fandoms, I don't have the ability to write and publish every day. I have a full time job, a two year old, and a two month old in the house, so sleep is my first priority after the kids. I guess I'm just asking to be patient with me :) I finish every story I start, so there will be an ending. **

**Thank you for the wonderful welcome from all the wonderful reviews, alerts, and favorites after the first chapter. I feel so incredibly welcomed by this new fandom!**

**Of course, I don't own the show, characters, or anything you might recognize. **

**No betas were harmed in the making of this chapter, so all mistakes are solely mine. **

* * *

Something was holding Penny back from immediately starting the beta test with Leonard. Every time he tried to bring it up, she found a reason to postpone the inevitable conversation. She just wasn't up for the wounded puppy eyes or pleading voice. Unaware of what caused her hesitation exactly, she only knew that there was a thought niggling somewhere in her subconscious that made her cautious.

Whatever made her leery of another try with Leonard also made her absentminded as she went about her routine over the next few days. She took the wrong turn on the way to work and wound up going the wrong way on a one-way street. Breathing a silent prayer of thanks that she found an alley to turn around in before anything really bad happened, she had to pull into a parking lot and take several deep breaths to get her focus back.

While she started out as one of the world's worst waitresses, over the past few years she'd improved her technique to the point where she hardly ever got orders mixed up anymore. After giving Sheldon advice on what to tell Missy though, she took a cheeseburger order to someone who wanted a salad and a steak to someone who ordered soup. Flustered and out of sorts, she went to the kitchen to try to re-center herself. More than once she found herself drifting off, trying to figure out whatever had her on edge and only a concerned inquiry from Bernadette brought her back, forcing her daydreams away.

At the end of that particular day, Penny dragged herself back up the stairs to her apartment. With a forlorn gaze at the guys' apartment, she shook her head. Something about sitting there with the group was definitely not appealing at the moment, so she resigned herself to peanut butter and jelly for dinner and consoled herself with a long, steamy shower to relax her muscles. She took a long, hard look at the bottle of vodka on her counter before deciding not to dive into a liquor bottle to ignore her problems.

Much later that evening when she finally gave up on being able to give her attention to any one particular activity, Penny decided to go to bed and at least get some sleep. Sliding between her sheets, she sighed and tried to will herself to dreamland, but the same inability to settle down that had plagued her the entire week stayed with her. Much to her irritation, it didn't matter if she tried sleeping on her side, back, or stomach. Nothing helped her calm down enough to rest. When she grew too exasperated to keep tossing and turning, she reached under her bed for her special box. Her ever-reliable purple boyfriend finally released enough tension that she was able to sleep.

* * *

_Phase Two begins, _Sheldon thought to himself while sitting at his laptop. Everyone would be arriving soon for Thai Night, and under the protection of a group conversation, he could introduce a few topics of conversation that would seem innocent on the surface, but in reality would plant certain ideas in certain heads.

Earlier in the day while in the midst of discussing a devilish problem with an equation that would have explained an obscure property of string theory, Raj asked out of the blue if he could bring his iPad to have a face chat with his sister in India. The look on his face as he asked the question told Sheldon he wasn't expecting approval, but he gave his friend a nod of approval and went back to the equation in front of him as if it was of no moment. The situation couldn't have been any more perfect if he designed it himself.

Checking his watch and calculating when his friends would arrive, Sheldon grabbed his cell phone and sent a quick text.

**Raj asked if you would join a face chat with the group tonight. If you're planning on it, I have a small favor to ask of you. **

Just a few moments later, his phone beeped to signal a received reply.

_**Oh really? And what favor would that be, Sheldon? **_

He smirked. It would be a hard sell, but he was confident she would acquiesce.

**For reasons I would rather not get into, I would appreciate it if you could ask Leonard how Alice is doing.**

Setting the phone down, he went back to the program that was running the calculations related to the equation from earlier that day.

_**I don't even want to know. What's in it for me if I do you this small favor?**_

That question made him actually chortle out loud.

**Do you remember who it was that used his own funding to keep your brother gainfully employed in the US?**

The wait for her reply was the longest yet, as if typing the letters was physically painful.

_**Touché. I'll ask the question, but now we're even. **_

While betraying no outward reaction, internally Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

That night, Penny gave in to routine and joined the boys for Thai. Bernadette was sitting between Howard and Sheldon on the couch while Raj and Amy took the floor, Leonard had the easy chair, and Penny was on the far side of the group in a chair she'd dragged over from her own apartment.

She looked around their little circle, taking in the mood of the whole group. She was still uneasy but unable to pinpoint the cause of her discomfort. Courtesy of the half-beer he'd consumed before Leonard returned with the food, Raj was able to enjoy conversation with everyone. Leonard was going out of his way to be solicitous to her, jumping at every movement and sound she made to fill some imagined need. Howard and Bernadette were lost in each other and contributing little to the evening, and Amy seemed to be doing anything she could to get Sheldon to smile at her.

When the conversation hit a lull, Raj spoke up. "So my sister is doing well in India. She's even managed to start dating her ex, someone who will not bring shame to my family," he finished with a dark look at Leonard.

There was a general chuckle at Leonard's exasperated expression, but no one missed the look of interest when Raj first mentioned his sister. Sheldon was careful to note Penny's hurt reaction.

"Good for her," Amy said between bites. Everyone else murmured their own congratulations.

"I was hoping we could bring her in for a video chat, if everyone was ok with that," Raj asked, hoping that the general mood meant approval.

"Oh now I think that's a great idea," Sheldon chimed in.

Dead silence around the coffee table as the entire gathering stared at him in shock.

"What? Did I spill something on my face?" he pretended to wipe his chin off.

"No sweetie, there's no food on your face. It's just that you never got along with Priya while she was here," Penny explained.

"Oh, I see. While it is true that she and I did not always see eye to eye on certain things, she was a part of this group for a time, even dating one of my best friends, and it would be inhospitable to both Raj and his sister if I were to deny him that request," Sheldon said, congratulating himself on his even tone and lack of facial tics as well as the subtle way he reminded everyone that Leonard and Priya used to be involved.

Leonard looked at him like he was trying to figure out what game Sheldon was playing from subtext, but when everyone else accepted his reasoning without probing further, he shook it off.

Before the conversation could pick up any more, Raj's iPad chimed the incoming call. His excitement was palpable as he accepted the request and set up the device on a stand so everyone could see his sister.

Sheldon smiled to himself as Priya greeted everyone. While it was true he didn't want to break up the friendship circle and routine he'd established, one of the fundamental reasons he extended his funding to Raj to keep him in country was the kinship he felt for the Indian. They were each transplants, living a great distance from where they were raised, and each felt the pull to communicate with family (Raj more so than himself, he admitted). Even more so, each had a sister with whom they fought, but also would do anything for when needed. Yes there was much he had in common with the astrophysicist.

While he had been lost in his own head, Raj had apparently decided that it would be better to turn the tablet in a circle rather than force everyone to crowd around to see his sister. She greeted each in turn, meeting Amy for the first time, asking Penny if she'd had any success with auditions and congratulating Bernadette and Howard on their upcoming wedding. Only Leonard was reserved with her, earning himself a glare from Raj for his rudeness.

When Priya saw Sheldon, she cocked her mouth into a half-smirk and said "Well hello, Sheldon. It's been so long since we've talked. I hope you're well?"

He nodded wordlessly, internally hoping no one else picked up on the emphasis she'd placed on the words. "Indeed I am, and I trust your life is proceeding in a successful direction?"

"My new law firm seems to be happy with me so far. I've heard rumors of making partner in the next five years," she replied.

"Well congratulations. I knew from the Roommate Agreement debacle that you'd make an excellent attorney," Sheldon told her with enough of a smirk that she could tell he held no ill will.

Once again the group around him gaped, this time at his apparent rapport with Priya. "What? I was raised by a Southern mother and MeeMaw to be hospitable to guests, even ones only present via technology. Plus she did get the better of my Roommate Agreement."

Wanting to avoid any further awkward questions, Priya changed the conversation and focus. "Leonard, you've been strangely quiet. Are things not going well with Alice?"

_Oh well done, Priya,_ Sheldon congratulated. She'd managed to introduce the topic in a way that was entirely organic and put the whole onus on Leonard.

"Alice? Wait, who's Alice?" Penny asked. Leonard never mentioned any Alice to her, especially recently.

"Oh, she was someone from a while ago," Leonard tried to deflect, but Priya's amused chuckle as well as the look shared between Raj and Howard kept him from shirking the issue.

"Just someone? Penny, when we broke up the last time, he called me and told me that he was tempted to sleep with this girl Alice that he'd met at the comic book store. They were making out, but he left in guilt and immediately called to tell me about it," Priya explained. She was about to go into further detail, but her phone rang. One look at the caller ID told her it was something she needed to handle. "I'm sorry everyone, but I have a situation that I need to address. It was lovely to see you all. Nice meeting you Amy. I'll call you this weekend, Rajesh," she said before abruptly signing off.

Raj and Howard burst out laughing how Penny's disgusted expression turned Leonard's to outright fear. "Yeah, I thought that one would come back to bite him in the ass," Howard teased.

"Does anyone need anything to drink? I can run to the store if we're out of anything," Leonard promised as he got up, trying to flee before any further damage could be done to his efforts to get back together with Penny.

"Sit back down, buster," Penny ordered, "You were dating Priya – a woman who you said you loved several times in my presence, but one comic book store tramp crosses your path and your pants hit the floor?"

"I, uh, well that is to say that I never…I didn't sleep with her!" Leonard protested, wringing his hands.

"So nothing happened?" Howard interjected.

Turning to him with anger coloring the lines of his face a stormy red, Leonard let his friend know exactly what he thought of this betrayal. "Not really helpful, Howard," he growled.

"Not trying to help, buddy. You're on your own with this little mess. Think of it as a little payback for a redheaded doctor," the diminutive engineer shot back. Despite being perfectly happy and engaged to the love of his life, he still hadn't forgotten Leonard's dick move in stealing Stephanie from his own date. He was only too happy to throw his drowning friend an anchor this evening.

Penny was still trying to comprehend Leonard's actions. "So did anything happen at all with this Alice?" She looked to her female friends for support and found it, as Bernadette and Amy wore matching glares directed at Leonard.

Penny watched as Leonard was again trapped by his actions. He seemed to shrink into himself, hunching his shoulders and ducking his chin. He peered out through his glasses in a way that made him look like a trapped rat, all nose and eyes as he sniffed for an escape, but found none. Flopping back into his chair, Leonard rubbed his face with his hands, and grudgingly admitted the truth. "We were making out at her place and were about to sleep together when I stopped things."

Raj took the chance to pile on, aggrieved Priya's sake. "So you only cheated a little bit on my sister?"

"Yes! No! Wait, she was already cheating on me! And that was after she decided to move back to India without telling me!" Leonard protested, feeling the circle closing in on him.

Silence settled as the group processed the information. Deciding now was the time to intercede before the situation got any further out of control, Sheldon cleared his throat. "Leonard, I wanted to ask you how your experiments with Leslie Winkle," even though saying the shrew's name would help his underlying cause here, he was unable to keep the malice completely from his voice, "are proceeding. You two have been working very closely for a while now."

Caught, Leonard took the only way out it seemed was available to him, explaining the work and hoping that no one would read anything into it, given his history of no-strings sex with Leslie. "Yeah, we're making some great progress using the new argon laser on the…coupling constant…" he trailed off, suddenly aware of what the experiment sounded like.

"Yeah, I'll bet you're working on constantly coupling with Leslie Winkle," Howard muttered into his noodles after he and Raj broke into simultaneous guffaws.

Leonard looked again at Penny, gauging how much damage his reputation in her eyes had suffered that evening. She appeared supremely uncomfortable, shifting in her chair and opening her mouth as if to speak but no words came out.

Sheldon sat back and watched Leonard's chances for a beta test with Penny go up in smoke, though they both still had to realize it. He took little joy in his part, but it had to be done. Leonard was not the kind of man that would make Penny realize her full potential in a relationship. He'd watched their first failed romantic endeavor. The longer it limped along, the sadder she got. The sadder she got, the more alcohol she consumed. The golden lady, his Queen Penelope, grew wan and washed out. Thus, the equation only had one outcome no matter how he approached the problem, no matter how he rearranged its components. Though it would ultimately destroy his friendship with Leonard if his involvement were ever generally known, there was no other alternative but to make sure the beta test didn't happen.

He kept coming back to the fact that she was Penny; there was really no other way to embellish it. Penny was herself. She couldn't be defined, measured, or explained like the elements in his equations. She was simply herself, with everything that wonderful thought encompassed. He was under no pretensions that once she gave up on Leonard, Penny would see him as a potential romantic suitor. Penny was everything he wasn't. Gorgeous and sophisticated – even if she couldn't afford the most couture items – she could realistically model for any magazine cover there was. Looking at her now, seeing how her golden tresses hung down around her face, he felt the attraction stronger than ever.

At times angel and devil, good and evil, light side and dark side, Penny was a dichotomy. Despite dropping out of community college, he knew she had a high level of natural intelligence. She was the only person he'd ever come across that was absolutely unafraid to challenge him, who always called him out on his bullshit. Normally it would be irritating, but he respected a woman who didn't back down from confrontation. Despite her sometimes acerbic tongue and truly masterful grasp and use of sarcasm, she could be utterly kind. Friendship with himself and Leonard was never an obligation for her – she just accepted them for how they were. After the initial period of getting to know each other, she went above and beyond when it came to rubbing cough medicine on his chest, singing Soft Kitty, and smoothing out the little annoyances that threw off his routine.

Beyond her latent intellectual capacity and sunny disposition, she was blessed with curves that would have a Formula-1 driver nervous. Whenever she pranced around in a spaghetti-strap camisole top like the green one she was wearing that evening – making her eyes almost glow – or the tiny shorts that illustrated how long her legs were, he suffered the curse of his eidetic memory. His mind was only too happy to replay that one glorious accident when he'd grabbed a handful of her soft, supple breast and kept up the tradition of the hero peeking. Given both touch and sight memories it was no challenge to extrapolate that over her entire body to imagine what the goddess would feel like.

_Drat! _He cursed inwardly. The memory was having its usual effect, making his trousers uncomfortably tight. Sheldon shifted in his seat to relieve the pressure and refocused his attention on the conversation.

He'd avoided romantic entanglements his entire life for any number of reasons, not least was his aversion to germs and difficulty decoding human expressions. Rather than get involved in an interpersonal morass, he used his intelligence and career aspirations as legitimate excuses to stay out of romance. _Focus on the science, Sheldon. _

Penny still hadn't said a word as the atmosphere grew increasingly awkward. Amy looked as if she wanted to condemn Leonard, but settled for her icy glare. Bernadette followed suit, adding dismissive shakes of her head. Howard and Raj found the experience of Leonard's comeuppance hugely amusing for separate reasons. Sheldon maintained his own silence on the matter. He couldn't have scripted the evening any better, but was wary of pushing it too far. Leonard looked bad enough now that he doubted Penny would be willing to undertake the silly beta test.

With a final shake of her head, Penny found her words. "I'm sorry guys, but I think I've lost my appetite. I'm just going to head back to my place. Maybe my stomach will settle down if I lie down." Without another word or look of apology, she got up and left the apartment in such haste that it seemed to the group that she was barely restraining herself from running.

Bernadette and Amy communicated wordlessly before getting to their own feet. "We'll go make sure she's ok," the blonde announced after kissing Howard on the cheek. Amy nodded and directed what she clearly thought was a seductive smile at Sheldon before the two left without another word.

In their absence, the four scientists looked at each other, unsure what to say. Raj and Howard were amused at the whole situation, Leonard still looked like a trapped rat, but one that realized the water around him wasn't getting any lower anytime soon, and Sheldon studiously kept a lack of any expression.

* * *

**A/N: So there we are! I hope this chapter lived up to the first one.  
**

**Like I mentioned last time, this is an entirely new fandom for me, so I need constructive feedback in order to make sure I'm getting the characters down right. **

**Beyond that, this story could either end after one more chapter or several more - it's entirely up to you! I have a whole plot I could work this into, or it could end with one more update. I need your input to decide.  
**

**What say you?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Greetings once again! This chapter took a bit longer than I anticipated, but there's some drama going on and I wanted to be sure that I got everyone acting as authentically as possible given the new shift in this AU. **

**As always, I don't own anything you might have seen on television. No profit is being made from these scribbles. **

**No betas were harmed in the making of this chapter - all mistakes are mine. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Penny was sitting on the sofa with her head in her hands when Amy and Bernadette entered her apartment. "Sorry, guys. I just couldn't sit there and hear those things about Leonard anymore."

"It's okay. I had the same reaction when I learned about my Howie's past," Bernadette consoled, "For mega-geeks, those boys can be real horn dogs."

Amy gave her bestie a reassuring pat on the back. "Think of it this way: it may be impromptu, but now the two – I mean three of us – can have a girl's night!" she said in an excited tone.

Penny looked at both of her friends and saw Bernadette's encouraging smile along with Amy's undisguised eagerness for the sleepovers she was never invited to in childhood. With a sigh, she called on her acting skills and schooled her face into an expression that hopefully conveyed gratitude. "Thanks. I think some company would be really awesome right about now."

"Don't sweat it bestie," Amy said, "Us girls need to stick together in times of crisis brought on by our wayward menfolk."

With a small smile of thanks, Penny got to her feet and went into the kitchen for a can of pop. "I think the weirdest thing is that I'm not more broken up over the whole deal."

"What do you mean?" Amy interrupted before she could continue.

Realizing that her girlfriends didn't know about the beta test proposal, Penny started a bag of popcorn in the microwave before grabbing a couple more pops. Heading back into the living area, she handed one to each of the other women before sitting down. "Leonard came up with the idea for what he called a 'beta test' of a relationship where we start dating again but tell each other about things that bother us right away. His bright idea was that we could fix the 'bugs' before they become real problems."

Bernadette rolled her eyes. "He's wooing you again by treating your relationship like a computer program. How unbearably lovely," she said, sarcasm dripping heavily off her words.

"That does seem like it would be highly out of place in any romantic comedy movie Hollywood makes," Amy frowned.

Penny flopped back onto the sofa with a humorless chuckle. "It shouldn't really surprise me coming from someone who cheated on his girlfriend."

As Amy took a sniff of her armpit, she didn't notice her friends wincing. "Penny, it seems my shower at home has failed to rid me of the chemical aroma of my lab. Would it be acceptable if I took a quick shower?"

Penny blinked a couple times before nodding. "Sure, knock yourself out, Ames. Towels are in the plastic organizer under the sink."

The neurologist got to her feet with a barely-concealed gleeful grin. "I'll try to be careful as I dry off with something that was once rubbed on your golden skin. Fortunately I keep a spare change of clothes with me at all times, even including underthings."

Bernadette mirrored Penny's grimace as Amy closed the bathroom door. Their conversation moved onto the safer ground of cheesecake, acting, and lab work until the water stopped. The blaring of the blow dryer sounded throughout the apartment, but just after it started, everything went dark.

"Oh balls!" Penny exclaimed as she and Bernadette got to their feet. She pointed to an end table near the door. "Candles are in there. I'll try to find my lighter."

"What happened? Did the hair dryer blow a fuse?" the petite microbiologist asked as she spread candles on the coffee table, end tables, dining table, and kitchen counter.

"No, I use that every day," Penny answered as she found the lighter, "It must be the whole building." The two worked quickly to light every candle she owned. Their soft glow illuminated the room enough to see each other and move around, but it wasn't nearly as bright as the electric lights usually made it.

Amy emerged from the bathroom moments later in sweatpants and a hoodie. She looked comfortable, but her hair was a disaster. Still damp, it was matted and tangled beyond belief.

Penny had to cover her mouth with one hand to hide a grin. "Wow, Amy. Um, I don't really know…" she trailed off, unable to find the right words to describe the mess on her friend's head.

"It's a disaster, I know. My hair always does this if it doesn't get properly blown," Amy replied.

While Penny hid a smirk and mumbled something about how many different things that last phrase applied to, Bernadette got a ponytail holder out of her purse. "Oh, it's not so bad. Why don't you just slick it back into a ponytail?"

Amy's eyes shone with glee. "Yes! This really IS a sleepover! We're going to do each other's hair and share raunchy gossip. I wish I could go back and tell the teenaged Amy that things really will get better!"

Penny chuckled as she flopped back on the couch.

"So what are you going to do about Leonard?" Bernadette asked as she sat down next to her friend.

Blowing an errant strand of blond hair out of her eyes, Penny glared at the door. "I'm not going to date a cheater. I swore to myself I never would after Kurt."

"Even when he didn't cheat on you specifically? He has told you he loved you in the past. Maybe he really has changed," Amy reminded her.

"Once a cheater, always a cheater. I've learned that lesson the hard way," Penny declared after taking a sip of her cola, "He told me that he loves me, but he also told Priya and God only knows how many women he slept with when I wasn't interested."

"Howie told me about how the three of them each had sex with the visiting professor that stayed with Sheldon the one time, plus he's still kind of bitter about the whole Dr. Stephanie thing," Bernadette agreed

Amy looked confused. "I've heard about this Stephanie before but only from Leonard."

Bernadette started to answer but Penny waved her off. "Trust me, honey. This will be much funnier if I tell the story," she looked at Amy again, "So you know how Howard's kind of creepy and makes comments about anything with breasts (sorry Bernadette)?"

The brunette nodded.

"Well he used to be like, a billion times worse. Once upon a time, long before this crazy couple," she gestured to the tiny blonde, "bonded over a loathing of their mothers, Howard Wolowitz's go-to move was to go out to clubs and ask a girl if she wanted to drive the Mars Rover."

"You're kidding," Amy said in her customary monotone.

"No no, I shit you not. He even gave me that line early on," promised Penny as she pursed her lips and nodded, "Anyway, for whatever reason, one night that line actually worked on a tall, busty redheaded doctor - Stephanie. Long story short, Howard tried to follow through but screwed up and the Rover got stuck on Mars. He called the boys and had Leonard take her home, but before they even made her apartment, they were making out."

Amy's eyes got huge. "What!? He did that?"

Penny smirked. "Yeah. They even started a relationship, and she almost moved in until he got cold feet and broke it off."

"Wow, that's just…wow."

"Did he tell Stephanie he loved her?" Bernadette wanted to know.

Looking up to remember what happened, Penny shook her head. "No, her almost moving in freaked him out."

"I have to give Leonard credit. When I met him, I never thought he would be this successful of a Lothario. He's managed to sleep with more women than would seem credible on first blush," said Amy in what Penny had come to term her 'scientist' voice.

"Yeah, it's just, I don't know. With what he did with Stephanie, and now this new stuff about making out and almost sleeping with Alice, I'll always be wondering if he's doing them when he's with me, you know?" she asked her friends.

"I don't blame you for being a little creeped out," Bernadette said, "He doesn't exactly have the best track record. I think you can do a lot better."

Penny smiled her thanks, but her improving mood was tempered by Amy's pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows. "Amy? What's wrong?"

The brunette sat down in the chair kitty-corner from the sofa. "I really believed everything he said about being devoted to you. That I could be so wrong is upsetting."

Penny shook her head and tried to change – or at least shift – the topic. "Anyway, that's enough of that for now. What's new with you two? Bernadette, how are you doing with Howard's launch? How's Sheldon been lately, Amy?"

* * *

Across the hall the tension was still palpable.

Leonard visibly radiated anger while Howard and Raj had to stifle smiles. Sheldon worked hard to stifle all reaction to what just transpired, though inside he was elated. The evening could not possibly have gone better for his goal of keeping the beta test relationship from happening.

"That's a lot for all the wonderful help with Penny, guys," Leonard snarled.

"Like I told you, we weren't trying to be helpful," Howard retorted, "You reap what you sow, mi compadre."

Raj grinned. "In my country it's called karma. You screw around, the universe screws you back. You, my friend, just bent over and took what was coming to you."

Throwing his food down onto the coffee table, Leonard stood up, "But you weren't supposed to do THAT," he said through gritted teeth, "You know I want Penny back. Why would you tell her about the other women I've been with?"

Raj looked up from his own food with confusion etched in the lines on his brow. "I don't get it. You wanted to start another relationship with her without telling her everything?"

"She didn't have to know about Alice! I know she knows I used to hook up with Leslie every so often, but she didn't need to be reminded of that, and for damned sure Alice wasn't anything she ever had to hear about," Leonard sputtered.

"So, let me get this straight. You profess to love the woman across the hall, sleep with half a dozen others, including his sister," he gestured to Raj, "You told Priya you loved her over and over, even as it ended a few weeks ago when she dumped you, and then you want to get back together with Penny without being honest about everything you'd done? What happens if she finds out later on?" Howard asked. He'd always been the one with the horn-dog reputation in their circle, but Leonard's dalliances over the past few years changed that dynamic. He was happily attached to Bernadette while his bespectacled friend was still chasing every skirt that wafted his way.

Raj laughed as Leonard foundered, rendered incapable of coherent speech in his frustration and anger. "Dude, you look like a goldfish. But seriously, what would you do if Penny had been with Zack or Kurt or someone from her past and didn't tell you? What if she'd cheated on some guy with someone else and lied to you about it?"

Sheldon watched as Leonard's brown eyes widened and turned a distinct shade of green. He hunched over defensively as a note of panic entered his voice. "Why? What do you know? Has Penny been dating anyone? Why wouldn't she tell me that?"

Howard gaped. "Are you even listening to yourself? You're knocking us for telling her the same thing you would have demanded from her? That's a pretty dick move, man."

Sensing it was time for him to join the conversation, Sheldon snorted. "I'm certainly no expert on relationships, but it would seem that any romantic involvement should be based on mutual honesty and respect, Leonard."

Rounding on his roommate, Leonard bared his teeth in a vicious parody of a smile. "And what do you know about dating? You're barely human!"

Sheldon stood stiffly and looked down his nose. "I may not be Casanova, but I was raised to treat women better than that," he declared as he turned and went back to the kitchen.

Straightening out as he attempted to shrug off the evening, Leonard glowered at his friends. "You're all insane. This whole situation is crazy. Penny's mine! She and I love each other. Tonight was just a bump in the road. You'll see. We were meant to be together."

From his position facing the sink, Sheldon was glad his roommate couldn't see his expression. His eyes rolled so hard they physically hurt. He'd need to keep an eye on Leonard in the next few days. Gradually quieter thuds on the floor announced Leonard's departure to his room. He just hoped that he would use headphones for the inevitable Alanis Morissette binge-a-thon.

"Does anyone else think he sounded really creepy?" Raj asked.

Sheldon and Howard shared a look before nodding.

* * *

Bernadette grinned and took a sip of her drink. "Howie's good. I mean we're both nervous about the launch, but it'll be worth it."

"Do you really think so? Going to the Space Station seems like a really big deal. I remember how against it you said you were early on," said Penny.

That brought Bernadette's smile down. "I know, and it's intimidating, but how could I say no in the face of something that so few people have ever done? I would do anything for my little hunky monkey."

With a wry smile at the term of endearment for someone whose nose she'd once broken for being a perv, Penny reached over and grasped her hand. "Well, I want you to know that if you ever get lonely or need to get away from Howard's mother, you're welcome to crash here."

After giving Penny a thank-you hug, Bernadette turned to Amy. "What about you, Amy? Have you made any progress getting physical with your sexy praying mantis?"

At the unbidden mental image of the awkward neurologist writhing beneath Sheldon Cooper, Penny experienced two diametrically opposed physical responses. Her stomach clenched so violently she had to fight the urge to spit out her cola while simultaneously she felt a surge of heat to her lower belly. With a fleeting thought of gratitude that neither of her friends were looking at her right at the moment, Penny blinked rapidly in shock at both the fact that she just pictured Sheldon – _Sheldon! _– making love and not only did not grimace in disgust, was actually aroused by the vision. _Where the frak did that come from?_ She thought to herself as she schooled her face to mild amusement. _I don't have the time or energy to deal with that right now._

Unaware of her bestie's sudden inner turmoil Amy's face grew sour at the question. "I wish. My frustratingly chaste boyfriend has yet to even stick his hand up my shirt to reach the proverbial 'second base'. I've even been tempted to fake a cold to somehow coerce him into rubbing my chest under the terms of our Relationship Agreement."

Another nauseating clench. Penny got up and started walking around her living area to somehow convince her insides to relax. Something about the mental images Amy insisted on pushing into their heads was making her physically queasy. She needed something stronger than cola. Turning her attention back to her two guests, Penny had to pause while Amy, oblivious to social niceties as ever, was telling a vaguely horrified-looking Bernadette, "What I wouldn't give to visit him in his office and get bent over his desk. Just the thought of his huge –"

"Does anyone need some rum?" Penny squeaked loudly, desperately needing Amy to stop talking.

"Me!" Bernadette almost shouted as she used the excuse to bolt from any further awkwardness.

Amy looked at her friends, nonplussed by their abrupt departure. "White wine only for me, please. Hard liquor tends to affect my higher cognitive processes much more adversely than wine does. If I were to overindulge in wine tonight, I would be little better than my feces-flinging monkeys at home."

By now tired of wincing at her bluntness, the two blondes just put on fake smiles and hoped the conversation would change. Penny found her emergency pinot grigio and poured half a glass for Amy before setting herself and Bernadette up with rum and colas.

After taking a cautious sip – knowing how strong Penny had a tendency to make their drinks – Bernadette offered Amy what she thought was one final consolation. "Keep at it, Amy. Eventually Sheldon will see what he's missing and then you'll get some sugar action."

"I hope you're right, Bernadette. What with his work and scheduled evenings with the boys, sometimes it feels like I can't ever catch a break," Amy whined.

"_I can't ever catch a break,"_ Penny breathed, staring at Amy, who sat on the couch looking on in all innocence. She saw damp, wavy hair pulled back and dim candle light reflecting off her glasses. The other two girls looked at her strangely as her eyes went out of focus. For the briefest of seconds, her mind played a trick on her and she saw a vision of Leonard sitting on her couch just as he was after the Arctic debacle, making the same whining complaint.

In that moment everything became crystal clear, even in the dim light. Sheldon had lied to her. Sort of. He told her the right events, but changed the names. He played her.

_Sheldon _played her.

He told her every sleazy thing Leonard had done and disguised it as someone his sister knew to get her advice. In the process, he tricked her into seeing the situation without rose-colored glasses on, and telling him exactly what Missy's friend should do about a guy like Leonard.

Leonard, who ruined Sheldon's own experiment in the Arctic with a grade-school prank; who did everything he did with the end goal of sex; who manipulated her and God only knew how many other women with wounded puppy eyes and tales of an unloved childhood.

She flashed back to hearing him on their non-date at the movie theater, saying that he did tons of things he really didn't want to just so she would sleep with him when they were dating. She remembered him switching apartments with Raj so he could sleep with Priya without worrying. He slept with Stephanie the same night that Howard picked her up in the bar. There was the visiting professor, almost this new girl – Alice – apparently, and all the times he ignored her to flirt with whichever hot girl showed him even the slightest bit of attention, like Alicia and Missy.

Sheldon Lee Cooper, the man who couldn't lie, tricked her into verbalizing exactly what a random girl like her should do with and to a random guy like Leonard. Like the guy she was considering dating again, Penny realized with another wince. The clever little shit even used a name almost identical to her own in his trickery and she hadn't seen it

Penny forced her eyes to focus again and saw a dark-haired, bespectacled scientist seated on her couch, complaining about not being able to seduce their significant other. The fact that she had to shake her head to clear her vision and see that it was Amy instead of Leonard made her stomach churn violently. Setting her drink down on the counter with a jarring thud, she blurted, "Excuse me!" and ran to the bathroom. She just barely made it before she threw up everything she'd eaten that day. The heaves kept repeating until there was nothing left to purge.

Feeling a hand holding back her hair, Penny expected Amy to be the one comforting her, but was surprised to see Bernadette. "If you want, we can leave you alone to get some rest," she offered.

With a weak but thankful smile, Penny nodded. "Sorry about ruining girls' night, but I think that would be best. Maybe we could take a rain check?"

Bernadette nodded. "Of course. You need to rest."

Amy took the news with a great deal more reluctance, but eventually gave in at the promise of a future girl's night. "I hope that by morning your stomach has calmed down, bestie," she said on her way out the door.

A quiet "Thanks," was all Penny could offer as the door closed behind them, leaving her alone in her apartment to consider what she'd realized that evening.

* * *

**A/N: I can't be the only one who thinks Amy in seasons 5 and 6 was essentially a female Leonard, just less mean-spirited. She's a sweet girl, but the similarities are just too jarring for me. **

**As always, constructive feedback is much appreciated! Flames that don't like the pairing will be ignored - if you're reading stories that clearly identify a pairing you don't like and you're reading them anyway just to leave nasty feedback...that's your own darn fault. I just don't have any words for how sad and pathetic that really is. **

**The votes are in and the story will not end with this chapter :) How will Penny respond to Sheldon's manipulation? How will Leonard handle Penny's sudden evasiveness? Stay tuned! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Happy New Year, everyone! **

**I wanted to make sure this chapter got out on December 31, and I just made it! To everyone in Australia, New Zealand, Asia, Africa, and Europe, for whom it's already 2014, I hope you're having a safe, happy, and awesome New Year's Day!**

**My apologies for how long this chapter took. I have young children and a real job, so making the decision to write is also consciously sacrificing sleep. It happens when it happens. Thank you to everyone who waited patiently. Super thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, alerted, and generally showed me they like where I'm going. You all rock! **

**As always, I don't own anything you might recognize from TV. Just grateful that I get to borrow it for the time being. **

* * *

The Whiteboard Correction Chapter 4

* * *

_Knock…Knock…Knock. _

"Penny."

_Knock…Knock…Knock. _

"Penny."

_Knock…Knock…Knock. _

"Penny."

She heaved a sigh, tailing off into a whimper. This encounter wasn't one that she could avoid, despite her desire for solitude after the earlier surge of heat when she thought of the man in question. Fortunately, she'd thrown up almost all of the alcohol she'd consumed that evening, leaving her remarkably clear-headed. She needed time to figure out what the hell caused that reaction – she still refused to call it arousal – but it seemed Sheldon wasn't about to let her figure things out in peace. "Come in, Sheldon," she called, giving in to the inevitable.

He entered slowly, peering around the door as if he was afraid of what he might find. The girls must have stopped over at 4A for their guys and told him what happened. She had to stifle a laugh when the unsteady candle light showed the mask covering his mouth. She should have expected nothing else from Sheldon Lee Cooper. At first he was crazy – Dr. Whack-a-doodle himself – but as she got to know him, Sheldon's quirks became first understandable, then tolerable, then cute. That brought her up short. _Cute? When did I get to thinking of germ-a-phobia as cute? What the hell is wrong with me? And why can't I look away?_

Oblivious to her internal confusion, Sheldon came into the living area and put a green canvas tote on her coffee table. "Before she left with Howard to brave whatever psychotic hordes are currently pillaging our lawless and chaotic city at the moment, Bernadette was kind enough to tell me that you were feeling unwell. I thought that some Sprite Zero, Saltines, and scented candles might help your stomach recover."

As tired as she was, and as much as she didn't want to be around Sheldon until she had a clear enough head to figure out what the hell happened before the girls left, she had to admit when he went into 'mother hen' mode, he was too damned cute to kick out. She looked at him and gave him a smile that made her look weaker than she actually was. "Thank you, Sweetie. That's really nice of you to do."

He looked at her with the same expression he wore every time he was secretly thinking that she just told him two and two equaled four or that the sun rose in the east that morning. "Yes it is. I'm glad you appreciate the effort."

Normally his condescending expressions made her defensive and drove her to have a snappy retort, but in the upheaval of the last few days, she let it slide. Intrinsically she knew he wasn't mean-spirited. Sheldon just didn't _do _mean. He was a prankster, whenever he could figure out a workable prank, but he genuinely did not have a malicious bone in his body. _Oooh, bad Penny_, she thought as the mental images of Sheldon, Sheldon's bones, and even one bone in particular joined together in her mind and sent a surge of fire from her belly on down.

The most confusing thought in her head was why she was suddenly experiencing an intense attraction to Sheldon Cooper of all people. To be fair, he was never ugly; she thought from the first that he was cute in a nerdy sort of way, but then he had to go and open his mouth. Once the crazy came out, his attractiveness definitely took a hit. In the months and years since that first meeting, however, she started to see the man behind the equations, formulae, and obsessive-compulsive rituals. She started understanding that bringing order to the world was such an imperative to his career that he let it bleed over into his everyday life. It didn't excuse some of the more ridiculous things – not learning to drive definitely topped her list, although she had to admit that going to college at 11 and becoming a professor as a teenager meant that he certainly never had what could be called a normal childhood.

He drove her absolutely up the freaking wall, but as they became friends, she realized that theirs was a friendship of unlikely equals: they presented challenges to the other that no one else in their lives did. Leonard was certainly a dishrag of a man, only too eager to lay down at the feet of any woman who would give him the time of day in the never ending quest for female affection begun by his iceberg of a mother.

"What did Amy do?" she wanted to know.

A snort. "She wanted to stay, but had her nicotine-addicted monkeys to see to. On her way out she was mumbling about electric locks on their cages or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention."

While affection, exasperation, and fatigue from the evening warred for dominance in her, Penny watched Sheldon place and light the scented candles strategically among the others still shining from earlier in the evening. When he finished made his way to the chair kitty corner from her sofa, she caught his gaze. "Why are you doing all this, Sheldon?"

The question seemed to make him uncomfortable. She watched his eyes shift left and right before his cheek twitched. He was about to at least stretch the truth. "The power's out. There could be bands of ruffians roaming the streets, looking for easy pickings for looting as we speak. You're a friend of mine, and you're feeling unwell. If you have light and companionship, you're that much less vulnerable of a target."

Penny narrowed her eyes, pinning him in place and ignoring the temporary sensation of butterflies flitting around her insides at his efforts to take care of her. "So who's with Leonard?"

That brought him up short. "I, ah, well, that is to say…no one."

Surprised at the implications, she sat back on her couch, considering what his real intention was. "So you care about me more than Leonard?"

He was surprised at her suggestion. "For many years, Leonard has been the person I would consider my best friend."

"But now…?" she trailed off, allowing him the time to finish the thought. He was hedging, and she didn't want him to wriggle free. As she started to wonder why he seemed so hesitant to finish the thought, Penny felt a growing warmth in her core. Sheldon didn't want to admit that he _cared _for her, that he considered her not only a friend but also possibly his best friend.

Sheldon sighed. He moved to join her on the couch, first making sure she moved her feet out of his way. "Ever since the Arctic expedition, I've started reevaluating what it means to be friends, and in particular what it means to be someone's best friend. Starting with research," he trailed off at her snicker, "Yes, I did research on friendship. You of all people should know how social mores and customs elude me. Research was the best way for me to understand what is expected in a best friend relationship."

Penny smiled at his defensiveness, but refused to press him further. "You're right. I'm sorry, Sheldon."

"Anyway," he continued with a raised eyebrow, "After some further research I've come to realize that almost nothing about Leonard's behavior in the last two years has been that of a 'best friend'. Do you remember the time I helped out at the Cheesecake Factory?"

She nodded. "Yeah, you were trying to use marbles and stuff to visualize atoms or something, right?"

"Essentially, yes," he replied with an approving smile, "I ended up in the mall's ball pit for the same reason. Mall security called Leonard, and when he arrived, the guard insinuated I was mentally deficient. I think he compared me to his nephew as 'special'," he explained with finger quotes.

Penny was getting slightly lost at this point. "Sheldon, sweetie, what does this have to do with anything?"

"I was just getting to that!" he snapped before catching himself and taking a breath, "I'm sorry. When that happened, Leonard not only failed to defend me, he agreed with the man. He said I was 'extra special'."

She rolled her eyes. That sounded so much like Leonard recently that she couldn't even pretend to be surprised, let alone defend his actions in dealing with a 'stuck' Sheldon. "You know, the more I learn about things he's done – and recently – the more I want to show him exactly what Junior Rodeo is."

Somewhat perturbed, Sheldon just shook his head. "It's not worth the trouble, Penny. He's changed since the Arctic, but it hasn't been that much of an inconvenience. "

A certain wistfulness in his tone grabbed her attention, and Penny pressed the issue a little further as she settled into the couch. "You never told me the full story about the Arctic, just that they pulled a prank and made you look silly," her voice softened, trying to make him feel safe enough to tell her everything, "What really happened up there?"

Rather than unlocking the vault, the query shut it down even harder. Sheldon looked away, hiding his expression. "I told you everything. I fell victim to a practical joke from people who I once considered wonderful friends, but eventually it resolved."

She could see the walls slam up at the mention of the ill-fated expedition. He still wasn't willing to tell her everything that happened. If it came down to it, she'd either get Raj drunk or team up with Bernadette to get the full story out of Howard. They were each there, and their stories might be closer to the real truth than anything she'd heard so far. Leonard always protested that the whole thing was 'no big deal' and laughed it off as a harmless reaction to a psychotic Sheldon before clumsily trying to seduce her. Seeing the man in front of her barely hiding his brokenness and pain, though, she started to wonder if that less of the truth than she'd earlier believed. A thought occurred to her. "So, if Leonard isn't your best friend any more, and you went to this much trouble for me, what does that make me?"

He thought about his answer before regarding her with sincerity written across his face. "You are the only person I have ever known who has taken care of me without any obligation. Whether in Germany or here in California, no one else has ever gone to as much effort to help me as you have. Neither family nor significant other, you have taken me shopping, helped me in social situations, cared for and sung 'Soft Kitty' to me when I was sick, and so many more little things that I can barely remember them all. In short, you've become my best friend over the past several years."

She had no words. Penny was stupefied at the depth of his confidence in their friendship, but when put in that light, he was right; they had each done things for the other that were beyond what someone would do for a normal friend. She would never have let Wolowitz or Raj see her after falling in the tub; lying there nude waiting for 911 would have been preferable. At last she managed to stammer out a thank you. "Th – That's really nice of you to say, Sheldon. I feel the same way." He smiled, but didn't say anything in reply.

Sensing there was no more to be gained by further questions, she let the subject go. An uncomfortable silence settled as Sheldon tried to relax next to her and her earlier nausea was replaced by an increased awareness of the man on the other side of the couch. His concern had been readily apparent, and the little looks he kept giving her out of the corner of his eyes while his head remained pointed at the coffee table told her he was wondering about her physical – if not emotional – status. After a few minutes of the tense quiet, Penny decided to try an oblique strike. It took another couple moments to work up the courage and planning what to say, but eventually she was able to ask, "Sheldon?" without any noticeable tremor to her voice.

"Yes, Penny?" came the quiet answer.

She tried to concentrate, focusing on the way she'd worked out to approach the topic. Ever since realizing that Sheldon was trying to warn her off Leonard, she'd been feeling the odd warmth in her core. At first attributing the feeling to the alcohol she'd drunk with the girls, Penny had to admit that idea was a lot of bullcrap. Ever since tall, dark, and geeky had strolled into her dark apartment with his own candles along with some gentle food for her stomach, the warmth had only grown, accompanied from time to time by that strange flittering. She had to see if he was willing to continue their conversation from before. "Do you know what happened to Missy's friend? Did you pass along the advice? Did she take it?"

Sheldon's hesitation was visible. Penny could almost see the wheels turning in his head, further confirming her belief that Sheldon had given her a thinly-veiled version of her own life in order to show her Leonard wasn't worth dating again. "Ah, Peggy, right. I talked to Missy just yesterday. I think her friend heard your advice."

Oh he was learning something about speaking in subtext. Penny had to admire the way he kept up the ruse. "Do you think she understood how close she was to dating a jerk who would probably make her really unhappy?"

"I'm not sure, but I hope so," came his quiet response.

"Why?" Penny breathed, unsure of what she wanted his answer to be, "Why is it important to you what a friend of your sister's does with her life?"

That brought his gaze up to her own and she took an involuntary breath at the intensity radiating from the icy blue depths. "Because I've known her for a long time and I wouldn't want any misery to come to her if she could avoid it. Peggy is too delicate and sweet to be hurt as badly as she will most likely suffer at the hands of her ex if they get back together."

Every word the guy said was about her, she realized in that instant as she held the eye contact. Sheldon Cooper didn't lie – even if he did disguise the truth in some cases – and that held true for his eyes. Penny remembered a session from one of her early acting classes where the instructor told everyone how the eyes were the windows to the sole. _"Truly empathizing with your character means feeling every emotion they are and letting that understanding shine from your face." _She knew right that moment that he really believed he was helping her avoid future heartache. The deeper question, one she didn't have the energy to try to answer just then, was why. There had to be a reason he was going to all this trouble for her, but after drinking and throwing up as much as she had, figuring out Sheldon's motivations would have to wait._ (Pe-L) + (S-A) = X. Solve for X indeed. I know what elements are involved in this equation, _Penny thought to herself, _I wonder how he intends on dealing with A. Wait, why do I even care? Do I really have feelings for Sheldon Cooper? I think I do…when the frak did that happen? More importantly, what the hell am I going to do now?_

First and foremost came letting Sheldon know she understood all the levels of his efforts. Somehow, she had to make sure he understood that she figured things out and was grateful for the clarity his ruse had provided. Figuring out her own feelings – much less what to do about them – would have to come later.

Risking a flinching rejection of the contact, Penny reached out and grasped his hand, willing him to maintain his eye contact. "You can rest easy, sweetie. I think 'Peggy' got the message loud and clear," she told him with as much sincerity as she could possibly put into her own expression.

The smile he gave her wasn't his half-smirk of tolerance, but a genuine warming of his entire face. He may not have understood that she was being serious and talking about herself, but something in her face or tone reassured him.

The damned butterflies started going in her stomach again. Seeing him sitting there, risking not just one but two of his rare friendships to keep her from making what he saw – and she was now admitting to herself that he was right – as a big mistake, her courage started to rise. She was a big ol' five, after all.

"Penny –"

"Sheldon –"

They shared a small chuckle at saying each other's name simultaneously. "You go first," she said around a sudden yawn.

He opened his mouth just as she yawned, but the sound made him pause. He closed his mouth.

"Yes, Sheldon?" she asked tiredly.

"Nothing," he said with a dismissive shake of his head, "You need your rest. You should go to bed."

She tried protesting, but another yawn overcame her objections. Realizing just how tired she was, Penny gave a sleepy nod as he got to his feet and made ready to leave. "Sheldon?"

He looked inquiringly at her, prompting her to continue.

"Sing Soft Kitty to me?" she asked.

"But you're not sick," he tried to argue.

"Drunk and nauseous is a kind of sick," she told him, continuing their tradition of bending the truth to get around the strict rules for singing Soft Kitty to each other.

He made a face. "Only if you get in your actual bed. This couch has none of the lumbar support you need during REM sleep."

"Yes, Sheldon," Penny agreed with a wry grin. She knew it was just his way of making sure she would be most comfortable. After following her into her bedroom, he grabbed the garbage can from the bathroom and placed it next to her bed to help if she were to get sick in the middle of the night.

"Are you comfortable?" Sheldon asked.

"Very much so," Penny confirmed with a yawn."

He cleared his throat before singing in a gentle, soothing voice that had her slipping into slumber. "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur; Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr purr."

Safe and content, Penny could only whisper a "Thank you, Sheldon," before she was asleep. All the confusing feelings from that day could and would wait until later for more examination.

Satisfied that she was resting comfortably, Sheldon closed the door to her room before blowing out every candle in the apartment and letting himself out.

He had calls to make.

* * *

Across the hall, Leonard sat in his room, plotting.

Penny was slipping away from him. By refusing to spend time alone together, they didn't have any chances to discuss the beta test.

He couldn't decisively point to any one thing that told him she lost interest, but the week with barely any contact left him feeling cold. Going to Raj and Howard for advice was a waste. After the scene in the apartment the week before, neither wanted to help him get Penny back at all. His only resource was romantic comedy movie plots.

If there was one thing Hollywood taught him, it was to not give up. The persistent hero eventually got the girl, even if it took a little – or a lot – of convincing.

* * *

**A/N: Thus Chapter 4. **

**Still getting some Leonard trolls (Isn't that kind of redundant?) in the reviews, including one or two really vicious, spiteful (Again, aren't vicious and spiteful Leonard fans redundant?) reviews. Does that mean I'm in the club? If so, count me a full Sheldon/Penny fan club member :) **

******Trolls - don't waste everyone's time, especially your own. If you're reading a story clearly marked with a pairing you despise just to vent your rage, that's just sad. **

**The emotional interplay between the characters was really difficult for me to get to where I felt it was right. I'll be the first to admit I have trouble writing purely emotional scenes, and this one took a while. If you have any constructive feedback for what might improve getting Penny and Sheldon's thoughts and feelings more authentic, I would very much like to hear from you!  
**

**Once again, Happy New Year!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Greetings one again, everyone!  
**

**The response to my little effort into the Big Bang Theory fandom has been overwhelming. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story. Your kind words have been truly heartwarming!**

**As always I don't claim ownership of the show, characters, settings, or anything from the show. **

**It took a lot of deliberation, but I've chosen not to dignify the insulting, vile reviews by responding to them individually. As a group: those who use profanity toward myself will be reported for review abuse. I will also continue to deny guest (anonymous) reviews that are all caps and nothing but insults and cursing. If you have nothing better to do than to read stories that you know beforehand you will dislike because they feature a romantic pairing you don't care for, and you leave vicious reviews, that's just pathetic. If you want to engage in a mutually respectful, constructive conversation about the story, leaving the insults and cursing aside, I would be more than happy to, but my experience with a certain segment of the fandom doesn't leave me optimistic that will happen. **

**Otherwise: yes, these characters are acting differently than they do on the show, because this is a different storyline. I'm writing them as I choose. You want canon? Watch the episodes on your DVD/Blu-Rays. **

**One reviewer in particular thanked me for continuing to fracture the fandom. Seriously? You're upset because certain fans choose to write about a pairing they enjoy on a website dedicated to allowing fans of any particular show/book/movie etc the freedom to explore anything they want about their chosen topic? If I wrote about Leonard and Penny falling in love, but they were vampires in ancient Egypt, would you be upset or would you laud me for writing your favorite pairing? **

**It actually took me back to an early episode of M*A*S*H, when the three doctors are talking about a patient they're treating: **

**Hawkeye**: What's normal, Frank?

**Frank**: Normal is everybody doing the same thing.

**Trapper**: What about individuality?

**Frank**: Well, individuality is fine-as long as we all do it together.

**So in the 40+ years since this show has aired, we haven't gotten any further as a society? You're upset at a group of authors for writing something you dislike and 'fracturing the fandom'? **

**End of rant :) **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

'The Incident' as she'd taken to calling the disastrous gathering at Leonard and Sheldon's combined with her binge and purge immediately afterward, happened on a Friday. In the week immediately afterward, odd things started happening everywhere.

For one, Penny started noticing Leonard showed up wherever she was.

Saturday morning she left to go to the grocery store, he magically appeared on the landing, coincidentally just leaving for his own food run. "I thought you guys got your groceries together so that Sheldon was sure he was getting the same stuff he always got," she pointed out.

She could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to come up with a reason why he could conceivably be breaking Sheldon's precious routine. "Well, I just wanted to do something different," uttered with all the false bravado she'd seen in him numerous times before, was the only response he had.

Giving him the slip by ducking into the feminine products aisle and calling in a page for him, then running out the front doors proved laughably easy as he tried to argue with the customer service representative.

Sunday morning he was there when she stopped at the coffee shop for her morning latte. Claiming once again that he just wanted something different, Leonard made to sit down with her. When she saw him pull out the chair that blocked a quick exit, she made up an audition she was late for and ran out.

It was a flimsy lie, but she honestly didn't expect anything to happen because of it. Penny spent the morning at the public library researching not only upcoming auditions but also online and night college courses. She hid out there until well past lunchtime, secure in her knowledge that none of the guys would deign to visit that building, but it was all for naught. When she got back to the building, Leonard was waiting for her. The door had barely closed behind her when he barged in without knocking.

"You weren't at any auditions this morning," he accused.

She only managed to catch her jaw at the last moment. Not only was he waiting for her, he must have been looking through the peephole for her return. A cold shiver went down her spine. "Of course I was. Why would I lie about that?"

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" Anger rolled off of him in waves, making the Leonard Hofstadter that stood in front of her unlike any she'd ever seen.

Penny actually shrank back a bit, not knowing what to expect or how to read this version of Leonard. She walked around the breakfast bar, putting a physical barrier between them, but trapping herself. It wasn't perfect but it would have to do. "You're starting to weird me out, Leonard. What does it matter to you where I was?"

Seeing her reaction, Leonard's demeanor shifted. "It matters to me because we were supposed to be trying a Beta Test of our relationship, and it feels like you're avoiding me. If you're lying to me about where you were, what am I supposed to think?"

Trying to get some of her poise back, Penny went on the offensive. "What makes you think I wasn't at an audition, anyway?"

That made him uneasy. His eyes immediately left hers and he started fidgeting. After a few moments he mumbled something into his hand.

"You want to try that again? You know, with actual words?" She shot at him standing up to her full height to take advantage of the significant gap in their statures.

"I may or may not have called your agent," he finally muttered when he realized she wasn't going to give him any easy escape.

"YOU WHAT?!" Penny exploded around the bar, walking right up to the now embarrassed scientist.

Eyes darting back and forth as if something in her apartment would give him the answer, he finally grasped something he thought would help him out. "If you were at an audition I wanted to show up to wish you luck, so I called your agent. Imagine my surprise when she said you haven't had an audition in months. I'll ask again: Do you want to tell me where you actually were?" he drew himself up, trying to look as impressive as possible when his eye line met her chin.

Needing to end this train of thought before it got any further entrenched in his paranoid little brain. She marched up to him and looked him squarely in the eye, brushing aside the thought that he really needed to clean his glasses once in a while. "Listen to me, Leonard Hofstadter: I never agreed to your Beta Test idea. You have no claim over me, and no ability to dictate my time. If I say I had an audition, I had a damn audition. Understand me?" She punctuated each word with a finger poke to his chest.

"Were you with another guy?" he asked weakly, trying to regain some control over the conversation. He rubbed his chest where she jabbed.

Her eyes narrowed. "What would it matter if I was? We're not together yet."

Ignoring the jealousy raging through him, he tried to use that as an opening to talk about the Beta Test. "Let's talk about that. Have you had any time to think more about getting back together with me?"

If she could see herself in the mirror, Penny would have laughed at the speed with which her eyes went from narrowed to huge. "You actually think that's something we need to talk about after your little stunt from today?"

"No, probably not." He could see the answer when it was spelled out for him.

Penny folded her arms and fixed him with another glare. He finally took the hint and turned to leave. "Oh Leonard?" she called out in a deceptively sweet voice before he could close the door behind him.

"Yes, Penny?" he said with far too much eagerness in his voice as he stuck his head back in.

Her formerly saccharine tone turned cold enough to frost glass. "If you ever come into my apartment again without knocking, I'll show you what 'Junior Rodeo' was all about. Capisce?"

With a huge nervous swallow, Leonard nodded meekly and closed the door.

* * *

Monday morning saw Penny headed out to the post office to send a gift home for her father's birthday. It would have been easier to email a gift card, but the lack of a personal touch still rankled her. When she saw the line snaking multiple times around a table before it even made it to the serpentine column separated by poles and ribbons, her shoulders drooped.

The sound of the throat clearing behind her was eerily familiar. "Long line, huh?"

Penny spun around, her eyes wide with shock. She'd been so sure she gave him the slip this morning, waiting until the door across the hall had opened and closed, plus another twenty minutes to give them time to get out to Leonard's car so that she could leave without Leonard following her again. "What – what are you doing here?"

He actually looked hurt. "It's a public post office. I had to mail a letter. Why shouldn't I be here?"

"Isn't there a post office closer to the university?" she continued asking.

"I stayed home today," he answered, his tone growing increasingly uncertain.

"Oh," she said, turning around in hopes that would end the conversation. On the surface it was a plausible argument, but the cold lump that had taken up residence in her belly ever since 'The Incident' started getting heavier and heavier.

It only increased when she heard from behind – and below, an unkind part of her brain supplied – her a pleading voice ask, "So about that Beta Test…?"

* * *

It got so bad that Penny started seeing his face and hearing his voice everywhere. Her nerves got so frazzled she started losing sleep. There was an emergency key to her place over at 4A, and while it had proven useful in the past, right now its presence in the other apartment was giving her a lot of heartburn.

Merely locking and dead-bolting her door wasn't enough; she started putting a chair against the handle at night and putting her trusty softball bat by her bed. Outside her apartment, the slightest sound behind her made her jump and whirl around, always worried that he'd followed her again.

Day by day she kept hoping for relief, but he was relentless.

* * *

While Leonard usually only went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner on Tuesdays, he started eating lunch at the restaurant every single day. On Tuesday, he showed up for lunch and dinner. His normal expression – that of a kicked puppy trying to impress – was replaced by a gleam in his eye that unsettled her at first and grew creepier with each passing day.

She ended up spending as little time as possible at his table, even asking Sherry, her daytime manager, to call her over if it looked like she was about to get caught in a long visit. If she ever got out of the situation, Penny vowed to give up stalker movies forever.

Dragging herself home, her increasing frustration with Leonard's pseudo-stalking made her uncomfortable spending time alone in her apartment. She immediately thought of Sheldon and the tender way in which he'd taken care of her a few days previously, but she wouldn't have gone into 4A and risked Leonard's presence even for a role in Hollywood's next big blockbuster.

After managing to escape the Cheesecake Factory without being sucked into another conversation about why a Beta Test in which she and Leonard would submit complaints to each other in the form of software bug forms was the best way to date, she needed some friendly contact, so she pulled out her cell phone and called her tall, lanky neighbor. She even managed to – mostly – ignore the butterflies in her stomach that made their presence known more and more every time she thought about Sheldon's surprising gentleness.

After two rings, she heard, "Hello?" in her ear, but it wasn't the muted Texan twang she was expecting. Rather, it was the flat monotone of her debatably chosen bestie. "Hello, Penny." Somehow Amy's voice always managed to sound as drab as her wardrobe.

"Oh, hi Amy," Penny said, managing to hide most of her surprise, "I was actually hoping to call Sheldon. Is her around?"

On the other end of the line, Amy felt the ever-present need to try to impress her bestie, fearing that if the blonde wasn't proud of her, she would lose interest and start spending more time with Bernadette. Knowing what she did about Penny – remembered mostly from their three-way date with Sheldon and the conversation about her prior sexual partners – Amy figured the best way to win her bestie's approval was to claim to be about to engage in a torrid night of lovemaking, despite the reality being as far from that falsehood as possible. "Penny! Sheldon's just in the bathroom. He's…rinsing with Listerine to sufficiently disinfect himself before we begin a scintillating night of making passionate love to each other's genitalia."

Penny had to gulp back a sudden urge to repeat her night of vomiting. The thought of Sheldon making love wasn't repellant in the slightest – she'd have to revisit THAT thought later – but the mental image of Sheldon and Amy writhing together in a lover's embrace was deeply unsettling. Since Amy was on the phone, she didn't have to hide the full-face grimace that always accompanied Amy's lack of discretion. "Sounds…great, Ames. I'll just let you get to it," she answered with as much false enthusiasm as she could muster, hiding the sudden queasiness ravaging her insides.

She'd had that feeling often enough over the course of her life to know jealousy for what it was. The gnawing, grinding, twisting feeling in her gut was no stranger. Part of her wanted to believe it was just envy that someone was getting some when she'd been in a long dry spell, but the butterflies told another story.

Learning her lesson from hiding in a nowhere relationship with Kurt and a disaster of a relationship with Leonard, Penny didn't delude herself about feelings any more. She was attracted to Sheldon. He'd given her no indications he returned the feelings, however. There was that moment the night of 'The Incident' when he seemed about to say something but changed his mind. Other than that there was no single instance she could point to as a clear sign that Sheldon was attracted to her. The man had even grabbed a handful of her boob and an eyeful of her ass and not pushed for more.

The only question that remained, she mused as she threw the phone down and walked to the kitchen, was what to do about it. Being attracted to a man who, for all intents and purposes, was impervious to feminine whiles sucked, although Amy seemed like she was about to plant her flag on Mount Sheldon. The unbidden thought of the two of them entwined again brought the familiar nausea back. Barely sparing a glance at the rum and wine after her earlier excesses, she poured herself a diet cola and sat down to think.

* * *

The following Thursday, Sheldon was preparing to save his work on his office laptop and head to lunch when there was a knock at his door. Perplexed – he didn't usually receive visitors at his office – he got up to answer it. When he opened the door his surprise only grew at seeing a raccoon-faced Howard and Raj standing there.

"Hey, Sheldon. Do you have a minute?" The diminutive engineer asked in a strangely nasal voice, due to the bandage across his nose.

Sheldon looked at Raj, who only nodded, before checking his watch. Seeing that they still had twenty minutes before normal lunch time, he stood aside and allowed the two friends to enter and take a seat on the other side of the mismatched desks. "What's going on, Howard?" he asked when they were all settled.

He was taken aback when Howard seemed genuinely nervous to bring up the topic which had obviously brought him to their office. "Well, ah, the thing is, have you seen Penny lately?"

Sheldon nodded. "Other than our usual Tuesday dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, I've only seen her in passing since the night at the apartment when we all seemed to discuss Leonard's dating history. Why do you ask?"

"Well, Bernadette and I were on our weekly date night a couple days ago, and we went to the Cheesecake Factory. Penny was working, and she's really not doing well," Howard explained.

Looking perplexed, Sheldon leaned forward and pressed for more information. "What do you mean not doing well?"

"She's a wreck," Howard said bluntly as he realized that dancing around the topic wasn't going to get anywhere with Sheldon, "She's pale, has bags under her eyes, and even looks like she's lost weight."

Sheldon's eyes got wider as he blinked. "I thought something was wrong, but since I didn't get to talk to her much, and she didn't spend any more time than necessary giving us our food Tuesday night, I wasn't sure. MeeMaw and my mother always taught me not to tell a woman she doesn't look good unless she's physically ill, and not even then."

Howard shook his head. "It's more than that. She's jumpy. When I went over to say 'hello', she jumped and took a swing. Almost broke my nose again."

"Ah, yes. I too have painful experience of the dangers of startling Penny," Sheldon confirmed with a grim nod.

Raj took the opportunity to chime in. "Could this have anything to do with the mysterious absence of our usual companion the last few days?"

The wheels spun in his head as he finally put the pieces together. "Drat! I thought he'd give me more time. It's only been a few days."

Howard looked confused. "What are you talking about? You thought who would give you more time?"

Gesturing for the other two to join him on his side of the desk, Sheldon opened his laptop and brought up a program he'd just installed earlier in the week. "After the way Leonard was acting around Penny, and after as distraught as she was that night, I took the dubious liberty of…I believe the vernacular term is 'lo-jacking'…his phone and car."

Raj remained silent as Howard gaped. "You're actually tracking his movements?"

Sheldon looked at them with firmness in his gaze that brooked no argument. "Penny is our friend. Do either of you honestly trust Leonard around her after the night last week?"

Knowing there was only one correct answer, Raj and Howard each shook their heads.

With an uncharacteristic grunt, Sheldon gestured back to the screen. "His PIN was laughably easy to guess, and that enabled me to do whatever I wanted to his phone. Right now he's at the Cheesecake Factory, and if I pull up the historical data," he paused while the program ran the new instructions, "I can see that he's been there at this time each day for the last week. Other than that his movements are unusual for him," he said, rubbing his cheek with one hand, "I wonder if it's time to implement Phase 3."

Howard and Raj shared a look before Raj rolled his eyes and replied, "Okay, I guess it's my turn to ask: what's Phase 3?"

A mischievous glint appeared in Sheldon's eyes that had the other two swallowing nervously. "There's a mechanic in Burbank who owes me a favor. If I get too suspicious of Leonard, he's going to install a device that will allow me to take complete control of Leonard's car. I'll be able to shut it down and lock him in for any period of time that I deem necessary. The contraption is equipped with a cellular antenna, so I'll be able to operate it from my phone. Yes," he said, holding up his hand as Raj started to speak, "It's just like on Bait Car, and there is an app for that."

Raj and Howard geeked out over the app for a few more minutes before Sheldon shut it down, his mind whirring on what to do about Leonard. "So it seems my roommate is, if not actually stalking, at least following Penny around, which is probably what led to her current struggles. Does that sound about right?"

The other two nodded. "We figured you'd be the only one who could get through to her," Howard explained, "You and she have always had this weird anger-respect thing going on."

Sheldon pursed his lips. "I can try. She's been strangely absent, but I will attempt to speak to her."

The matter concluded, the three scientists went to the cafeteria for lunch, the glaring absence of their usual fourth troubling them all.

* * *

It was finally too much.

Penny thought she'd given Leonard enough of a hint that she wasn't ready to talk to him, especially about the Beta Test nonsense. She was hoping for tonight to finally be the night he got the message and backed off.

No such luck.

Two hours into her evening shift at the Cheesecake Factory, just when she was breathing easier and starting to relax, a familiar bespectacled face appeared at the bar. He saw her and waved, thunderclouds forming on his face.

Giving him what she hoped was an innocent smile, she gestured that it would take her just a minute and ducked back to the kitchen. She made it as far as the manager's office before she burst into tears.

"Oh honey. What's wrong?" Pam, the evening manager asked as she rushed around her desk. Penny liked the matronly woman who originally hailed from Iowa. They understood each other without needing to translate the things she had to explain to anyone not from the Midwest, and in a weird way, Pam reminded her of her grandmother.

"He's out there again, Pam. I just can't do this anymore!" Penny said between hiccoughing sobs. "He's following me everywhere!"

Rubbing her back, Pam tried to console her. "It's okay, Penny. I'll call the police for you."

Penny took a deep breath. "Give me the time to call a friend of mine from a costume company. I have to get the hell out of here, and if he sees me leave, he'll just follow. I need to escape, Pam. I'm so sorry to have to leave in the middle of a shift, but this is too much for me right now."

"I absolutely understand, darlin'. I had a guy pull some sneaky stuff on me when I was young and beautiful," Pam grinned, "You do what you need to do and give me the signal to call the cops."

With a grateful nod, Penny pulled out her phone and dialed a number. "Tara? It's me, Penny. I'm calling in my favor. How soon can you get to the Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena with a brunette wig and a change of clothes in my size?"

Thirty minutes (and several waitresses delivering requests for Penny's presence from Leonard) later, Tara, Pam and Penny were staring at a mirror, marveling at how quickly the costume artist had transformed Penny from a blonde waitress into a dark-haired biker. Someone Leonard wouldn't look twice at, Penny was sure.

"On such short notice, not too damned bad if I do say so myself," Tara drawled.

Penny gave her a bear hug. "Thank you so much! I owe you now," she promised.

Turning to her boss, she explained her idea for getting out without being seen. "If you call the cops now, hopefully I can slip out the back. He shouldn't notice me getting into my car if they show up soon enough to distract him. Can you get one of the other waitresses to tell him that I'm dealing with a problem in the back, but that I'll be out soon enough?"

Pam nodded. "You got it, Penny. I'll make sure the creep doesn't see you. I'll just tell them he's been showing up asking for the same waitress over and over. That way they'll take my statement instead of yours."

It all worked according to plan. Penny was able to escape without Leonard seeing her, and she waited in the alley behind the restaurant until the telltale shape of a squad car pulled up. When the two police officers went inside, she took the opportunity to run to her car and pulled out without a backward glance.

She briefly thought of going back to the apartment and talking to Sheldon, but then Amy's voice reminded her of their…activities…and her stomach turned sour. Without a solid plan, she drove aimlessly west before ending up at the beach by the Santa Monica pier.

Putting her car into park, Penny got out and walked onto the sand, needing the calming influence of the waves to help sort out her complicated thoughts.

"Damn it!" she shouted as she threw her wig off to the side.

"You sound like you could use a friend. Anything you want to talk about?" a voice asked.

* * *

**A/N: And thus chapter 5. I hope you enjoyed! Constructive criticism is always welcomed! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Greetings everyone once again! The response to this story has been absolutely overwhelming. Thank you so very much to everyone who has favorited, alerted, and reviewed this story. Your wonderful welcome has been so heartwarming. **

**As always, I don't claim any ownership of the show. This is all in good betas were harmed in the making of this chapter, so all mistakes are mine. Slight language warning in this one.  
**

**Just like it says in the listing, this is a Sheldon/Penny story. If that's not your cup of tea, don't waste everyone's time leaving vile, expletive-laden messages. Personally insulting and abusive reviews will be reported, and anonymous reviews that curse and insult me as a person will be denied. You want canon, watch the DVDs.  
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**Enjoy!**

* * *

The Whiteboard Correction Chapter 6

* * *

While Penny usually went to the beach at Santa Monica when she was troubled, this night had been a dismal failure. The sand hadn't calmed her like it usually did. The waves hadn't worked their customary soothing magic.

Her heart was still pounding at the absurd lengths she'd taken to avoid Leonard's increasingly creepy attempts to talk to her. She thought she'd made it clear she wasn't ready, but he didn't seem to want to take that for an answer. Even in her disguise, she had to keep turning her attention from the stunning sunset to look over her shoulder to see if he'd somehow managed to follow her there.

It was tough to believe that so much had gone wrong in one week. That's really all it had been. One lousy week from when Sheldon called her to help with Missy's 'friend Peggy' – she snorted at the nearly transparent ruse. Transparent in hindsight, but that was always 20/20.

Sheldon.

Just thinking the guy's name sent the butterflies in her stomach fluttering, which really didn't help her still-rattled nerves. As if to torture her more, her subconscious started playing a highlight reel of all the times she'd gone toe-to-toe with her lanky neighbor. No man had ever challenged her in the way he had, whether it was stringing her panties on a telephone line, grabbing her boob and taking a peek at her tattoo, or pushing her to admit she was settling for second best in life. His piercing blue eyes never failed to send shivers down her spine. In the past she'd attributed that to random drafts or some Jedi mind trick of his, but now she knew it for what it was: physical attraction.

She was attracted to Sheldon, but he was dating Amy. Leonard was stalking her and Sheldon was with Amy. She'd never dated anyone quite as lanky as Sheldon, but just thinking about his eyes and the ever so rare genuine smile of his made her heart skip a beat. The utter futility of her situation piled onto the rest of the evening and in a fit of frustrated anger, she ripped off the wig and threw it to one side. "Damn it!" Penny shouted at the top of her lungs.

"You sound like you could use a friend. Anything you want to talk about?" a voice asked.

Whirling around, she saw a woman approaching. A stunningly beautiful woman, she had to admit. Silky blonde hair framed her face, falling down in waves. Her eyes were a piercing blue and she had slightly prominent front teeth that showed more when she smiled at Penny's confusion. She was dressed casually in tan capri pants and a royal blue polo that made her eyes glow even more. The woman's athletic, toned body moved with a catlike grace – no, that wasn't quite right, she thought – the woman moved like a panther. Every step was that of someone in total control of every movement. Her body looked toned but not overly so; strong and muscular, yet soft. Watching as the newcomer approached, Penny realized that this was a person not to be taken lightly. "Oh, um, sorry about that. I thought I was alone."

"Obviously," her new companion said, "What's going on?"

Penny shook her head. "Oh, you don't want to hear about my troubles."

"If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have asked," the blonde said with a smile as she sat down in the sand next to her. "You're in my favorite spot on the beach. Aren't the waves so soothing?"

"Very, but it doesn't seem to be working today," Penny grumped.

"Talk to me. You sound like you could use a friend and I've been told I'm a good listener," the other woman said.

Detecting a hint of accent and wanting some time to get her thoughts in order, Penny deflected. "What is that accent?"

"Oh I just spent some time in Australia," the other woman responded easily, "I seem to pick up accents easily."

"That'd be a nice talent to have. I'm an aspiring actress. Six years and all I have to show for it is a hemorrhoid commercial. If I could do accents it might help me get more jobs," Penny answered, "What's your name?"

"Thought you'd never ask. I'm Sarah, and you are?" her new friend introduced herself.

"Penelope Collins, but everyone just calls me Penny," she grinned as they shook hands.

"So, Penny," Sarah pressed, "Why are you cursing and throwing a wig on the beach? Are you hiding from someone?"

"From someone else and myself, actually," she said, "It's…"

"Complicated?" Sarah filled in wryly as Penny trailed off.

"How'd you know?" Penny affirmed. Finding a kindred spirit randomly on her favorite spot on the beach was too much to hope for, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Not that she would call any part of Sarah horse-like. The other blonde woman was gorgeous enough that Penny felt a little intimidated.

"I completely understand the sentiment," Sarah's understanding smile widened, "My life has been way too complicated at times, too. What's going on?"

With a huge sigh Penny started talking. "Where do I even begin?"

"I think the beginning would be okay. I have all night. My husband is overseas on a…business trip," Sarah said, trailing off at the end.

* * *

Sheldon was sitting at his desk when Leonard stormed in, slamming the door behind him. "Damn it!"

Taken aback at the violence of his roommate's return, Sheldon sat back and watched as Leonard stormed around the living area. If it had been possible, he was sure steam would have been shooting out the other man's ears, like some Looney Tunes character. "Leonard?" he finally asked.

Whirling around, Leonard fixed him with a wild-eyed stare. "I just got done being harassed by the police like a criminal at the Cheesecake Factory!"

"Did you rob them?" Sheldon asked, masking his knowledge of Leonard's travel patterns with his genuine confusion about police involvement.

"No I did not rob the Cheesecake Factory Sheldon!" Leonard answered petulantly.

"I don't understand," he said, keeping his voice calm and even to avoid prodding Leonard any further.

"Apparently someone told the manager that I've been stalking Penny, and tonight she called the police on me! I was almost arrested! The only reason you're not bailing me out of jail right now is that Penny wasn't even there tonight," Leonard fumed.

When Sheldon remained silent, Leonard took that as a cute to continue. "And when I went to have a drink with Koothrappali and Wolowitz, they started acting like I did something wrong!"

"What do they think you did?" Sheldon continued in his calmest voice, focusing all his attention on not giving anything away.

"They think I've been stalking her too! When I told them I was just trying to find her so we could have that talk that keeps getting postponed, Raj shook his head and that dick Howard actually laughed before they both told me I needed to get over myself and move on. They should have supported me but instead those assholes thought it was the funniest damned thing they'd heard all day," Torn between anger and resignation, timidity always won in Leonard. He flopped down into the easy chair and put his head in his hands.

"Let me ask you something, Leonard," Sheldon began. "Why are you fighting this so hard? You and Penny tried a relationship once and it didn't work. Is another attempt logically any more likely to succeed?"

Posture brimming with defeat, Leonard gestured to himself. "Look at me. I'm a short, shortsighted, lactose intolerant physicist with no athletic skills. If I can't make this work when destiny practically dropped Penny into my lap, what hope do I ever have of finding true love?"

"Real life isn't a Disney cartoon," Sheldon argued. "If you have to work so hard to convince someone that you're meant to be together doesn't the fact that the other person disagrees and can live their life never giving in to this supposed preordained set of events argue against the very concept?"

"Why am I even talking about romance with you? You're practically a cyborg as it is. I'm just pissed that Raj and Howard don't have my back with Penny," Leonard groused.

"All right. Why is it you think you need their support?" Sheldon asked, ignoring what Leonard had obviously intended to be a slight and moving to the kitchen to make his distressed roommate a cup of tea. The manners he'd learned as a child were ingrained so deeply the action was automatic. Even though he disliked Leonard at this point, he still would offer him a hot beverage.

Incredulous, Leonard turned wide eyes up to him. "Because they're my friends, Sheldon! Friends support friends, especially when one of them is meant to be with the hottest woman any of them have ever dated!"

"You're a man of science, Leonard, not a hippie," Sheldon persisted with a shake of his head, "and as such, you should understand there is no such thing as an all-controlling destiny for us all. If Penny chooses not to be with you – as you put it – doesn't that throw the whole concept of 'meant to be' out the window anyway?" He handed over the tea, which Leonard accepted with the barest hint of a nod.

* * *

"Okay, well, five years ago I moved into a new apartment in Pasadena. I'd just gotten out of a bad relationship and was looking for a fresh start. There were these two guys in the apartment across the hall. Sheldon is tall, thin, more than a little OCD in his behaviors, and he's brilliant. Seriously, he's certifiable as both a whack-a-doodle and a genius. Leonard is shorter, with glasses, and he's also really smart. They're both physicists at CalTech."

Sarah's eyes blinked at how Penny's voice changed during the description. When she described Sheldon, her eyes had gone soft and her voice more than a touch wistful, but when she talked about Leonard, she became guarded and tense, even throwing a couple looks over her shoulder. It wasn't hard to guess from whom she was hiding.

"Leonard was a complete flirt from the start. Anything and everything he did was to impress me. He even convinced Sheldon to go get my TV back from my meat head ex. They both came back without pants," Penny paused as Sarah started laughing at the image. Soon she joined in, remembering just how forlorn Leonard looked at not bringing back the television. "I know, I know. It was pathetic, but that's how Leonard rolls. His mother didn't really give a crap about him, and since she's a psychologist, she was able to use her completely hands-off parenting as an excuse to do studies on her own son about how a child raised without affection develops."

Wide-eyed, Sarah's laughter faded and she gaped. "That's…that's barbaric. She should lose her license for experimenting on her own kid like that."

"I know," Penny nodded, "and that explains a lot of Leonard. His whole life is a never ending search for the affection, approval, and love he never had from his mother."

"So where does this poor, love-starved little guy fit into your current woes?" Sarah asked.

"Well, after a couple of years, we started dating," Penny explained, "It started right after they got back from an experiment in the Arctic. Something happened up there that made Sheldon excited, and after he jumped the gun and sent an email to all these big science people, Leonard had to admit it was a prank. Sheldon was humiliated and quit the university and moved back to Texas. Anyway, I wouldn't say yes to Leonard until he made things right with Sheldon. That should have been my first clue."

Sarah's wince at Penny admitting she dated Leonard turned into a full-blown grimace by the end of her statement. "Yeah, I can see this going badly."

"Only too right," Penny confirmed, "It didn't seem that way at the time, but after we broke up – when I wasn't ready to tell him that I loved him and he got all jealous and clingy – I started looking back and realized how much he did with the sole aim of getting into my bed. That was right about the time I started really drinking heavily, and he seemed to encourage it."

Her new – friend? – gave a sympathetic smile and put her hand on Penny's forearm. "I hope things have gotten better since then?"

"Yeah. I've stopped drinking as much, and even though we were thinking about getting back together, Sh- someone helped me see some of Leonard's behavior in a new light."

She tried to correct her slip on the fly but Sarah was too quick. "Sheldon convinced you not to give Leonard another try?"

* * *

Something in the way Sheldon continued to dismiss his belief that Penny and he were destined for love started raising Leonard's hackles. He started looking at Sheldon with wary eyes. Everything started clicking together. Priya's random Skype call to the group – which she'd never done before – along with Penny's strange refusal to continue their Beta Test conversation and now Sheldon's lack of support began adding up to one answer. He had no real proof, but somehow, some way, he knew that Sheldon was behind everything. "You did this," he accused, setting down his tea.

"I did what?" Sheldon was determined to maintain his innocence as long as possible. Pretending ignorance of Leonard's thoughts was a delaying tactic.

"I don't know, but I know you had something to do with Penny's pulling back. Priya didn't just call Raj to say hello to the group, did she?" Leonard was on his feet now, approaching his taller roommate.

"What makes you think I had anything to do with her calling? I was never her best friend while the two of you were engaging in coitus," Sheldon protested.

"You're trying to screw up my chances with Penny," Leonard alleged softly, not sure where his confidence in the accusation was coming from but the feeling was similar to making a leap of intuition in one of his experiments. He might not know where he was going to land but he knew there was something solid in front of him. As he thought more about Sheldon and Penny and their odd friendship, a heavy ball of dread settled in his stomach. "What I don't understand is what you get out of it."

"There's a big misunderstanding here, Leonard. I barely said a word the other night," Sheldon continued to deflect.

"You've done some hateful things before, Sheldon, but this has to be the most hateful. I never knew you were this much of a sadist, screwing with two other people's destinies just because you could!" More pieces clicking in place, Leonard felt the ball grow heavier.

Tired of the protests and denials, Sheldon stood taller. "There is no need to go throwing around insults like that, Leonard. We are men of science. We should be able to have a rational, reasonable conversation."

"Then what should I call you for trying to keep Penny from me? Hateful and sadistic seem appropriate. Would pathetic, neurotic, controlling, and obsessive make you feel better?" With arms folded, Leonard stood as tall as his stature allowed to present as challenging of a posture to Sheldon as possible.

"I was far from the only person at that dinner. Are you going to have this same aggressive, accusatory conversation with each and every single person in our group?" Sheldon asked as he moved to the other side of the living area, determined to erase the damning equation from his whiteboard. It was the one piece of evidence that Leonard could conceivably have to support his claims.

"No one else in our group is as hateful, sadistic, or borderline psychotic as you, damn it, so no, I don't think that will be necessary!" Leonard's voice always seemed to get louder in direct proportion to his agitation, and tonight was no exception. By the end of that sentence he was practically shouting.

* * *

Penny hoped the fading red, yellow, and orange sunlight streaking from the ocean hid her blush. "Yeah. He pretended his sister's friend was about to date someone just like Leonard to get me to see things he'd done in a new light. It was enough to get me to back away from Leonard. Unfortunately," she continued as she took a breath, "Leonard seems to have assumed that meant he should follow me everywhere to show his devotion."

Sarah snorted. "I've had guys stalk me before. One of them almost ruined my marriage before it got started. Their reasons don't matter. They just get crazy. You need to nip this in the bud, like yesterday."

Penny nodded in resignation. "I've come to that conclusion myself. I just don't know how I'm going to do it. It should be either in public or in a place I can control."

Cocking her head to one side, Sarah gave Penny a piercing look. "You haven't told me any more about Sheldon," she said, wanting to steer the conversation from the guy Penny wanted to avoid and onto the guy who made Penny sigh wistfully.

With a chuckle, Penny shook her head. "What is there to say, really? He's got a schedule and routine for everything. He draws up agreements and contracts for friends, roommates, and his girlfriend. Sheldon is one of those beautiful mind people. He's going to win a Nobel Prize someday."

"He's that smart?" Sarah breathed, obviously impressed.

Penny nodded. "He'd have to lose a million IQ points to not be a genius."

Sarah watched the other woman closely, seeing the obvious signs of a woman struggling against her own feelings. It was a struggle she was only too familiar with. "You really care for him," Sarah said quietly, watching as the realization dawned.

"He's my best friend," Penny admitted after a few quiet minutes. "When the hell did that happen?"

Her new friend chuckled. "Probably when you weren't looking. I know the feeling. Do you think he's more than just a best friend?"

"I've never thought of Sheldon that way! At least, I didn't until the past couple weeks," Penny protested, "He's tall, lanky, plays video games all the time, totally geeky, and is smarter than I can even begin to understand."

"Does he treat you well?"

"I used to think he didn't. I mean, we got into a prank war once and he hung my underwear on a phone line. He's always talked down to me, but the more I got to know him and see him around other people the more I realized that's just how he is. He's literally the smartest man in any room, so to him, everyone is dumber than he is. When I called him out on it, he said he never meant to insult me, so maybe he just was trying to push me to better myself. I don't really know!" Penny buried her head in her hands.

"But does he treat you well?" Sarah persisted. "When you need a friend is he there?"

"Always," Penny smiled. "When I fell in the shower and dislocated my shoulder, he drove me to the ER, even though he doesn't have a driver's license and hates the thought of driving."

"See?" the other woman nodded.

Even the fading sunlight couldn't hide Penny's blush as she remembered the rest of that evening. She buried her head in her hands, but couldn't hide from her new friend's scrutiny.

"Oh now I have to hear the rest of that story," Sarah teased.

Penny tried to get away with mumbling into her arm, but Sarah's pointed stare fixed her in place and forced her to come clean. "Ok, ok. When he was helping me out of the tub, he accidentally grabbed a handful of my right boob and saw the tattoo on my ass."

Sarah burst out laughing, in equal parts at the story and at Penny's embarrassment. "Most of the guys I know would have tried to take advantage of that."

"See that's the thing! I thought that too, but he hasn't mentioned it since other than to say some crap about the hero always peeking," insisted Penny.

"Are you going to see if he reciprocates your feelings?" Sarah wanted to know.

She gave it a thought. For the briefest moment, Penny had a beautiful dream of going to Sheldon and saying that she had feelings for him. She got as far as his facial expression before the bubble burst. "No," she shook her head. "He's dating a girl named Amy now. I don't really know what kind of relationship they have, only that he drew up a contract for how they would act and she's had to practically hire a lawyer to get him to agree to increase their physicality."

"Ouch," Sarah sympathized.

"He wouldn't be interested in someone like me anyway," Penny said sadly, her previous good humor blowing into the sunset like a light fog. "I'm a community college dropout with no career and he's a world-class physicist who's tearing the veil off nature to stare at the face of God. His words," she quickly explained to Sarah's confused look.

"So you don't want to give it a shot at all?" Sarah pushed. "Let me tell you from experience that tall, dark, and geeky is a wonderful combination. Especially the guys with long, dextrous fingers well practiced from hours of video games. Think about everything those fingers could be doing to you..." she trailed off and started giggling as Penny's eyes glazed over and her blush returned full force, visible even in the dim light.

"His girlfriend is also a scientist. There's just no reason he'd even consider dating me," Penny answered. "No career, no boyfriend, no prospects. God, I'm such a mess! Why are you wasting time talking to me again?"

"I don't think you're a mess. You're in a bad place right now, but we've all gone through rough times. The only real question is: what are you going to do now, Penny? Where does Penny Collins go from here?" Sarah asked.

* * *

"You keep using the word hateful like it means something, but I've remained calm and tried to have a mature conversation. You're the one spitting vile insults and cursing at me," Sheldon pointed out over his shoulder as he continued erasing. Childhood experience had taught him that making eye contact with an aggressive person would only provoke them to physical violence.

Perturbed by his roommate's strange fixation with erasing a whiteboard while they were talking and growing more and more annoyed at being ignored, Leonard started scanning to see what was so damned important that it had to be erased that second. Just as Sheldon got to the final corner, he saw the tail end of one oddly familiar equation disappear. _(Pe-L) + (S-A) = X. Solve for X. _

His eyes bulged, his stomach dropped and for the first time, Leonard was certain. "You _are _trying to make it so that Penny won't consider dating me! That equation! Penny minus Leonard plus Sheldon minus Amy equals X!" Shock overrode all other responses and he stared impotently at where the equation had just been on the board. When he finally found control over his body again, Leonard turned to his roommate and with a deceptive calmness to his voice, asked a familiar question. "Sheldon? Want to catch me up?"

_Drat! _Standing to his full height, Sheldon turned and regarded his roommate warily. He'd never known Leonard to be prone to physicality, but this situation was entirely new. "There was nothing to mastermind, nothing to scheme, and nothing to plot. You saw what happened the other night, Leonard. The group of us merely recalled some of your more salacious indiscretions. It wasn't anything Penny didn't know about. You can hardly accuse me of cooking some elaborate plot to keep you and Penny apart if Raj, Priya, Bernadette, and Howard all joked about some things that were common knowledge."

"You hateful, sadistic, spiteful, psychotic jerk-off!" Leonard was spitting from his mouth, so strong was his anger. "You got everyone to gang up on me and make me look like a douche to Penny! You want her for yourself!"

At this, Sheldon just scoffed. "Now you're living in a dream world."

While that took out some of Leonard's fire, he remained almost vibrating with emotion. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you're not attracted to Penny."

"I can't do that," Sheldon admitted, looking down.

"I knew it! You – " Leonard's growl of triumph cut off at the other man's raised hand.

"All I admitted to was attraction, Leonard. Any heterosexual male with a pulse would be attracted to her. I never said I was actively courting her affection," explaining the distinction was a risk, but he felt Leonard would understand the difference. "We still need to work on your vocabulary. You keep spewing the same empty vile insults and curses at me when I haven't even raised my voice to you. Which of us is the hateful one?"

The cold, impartial logic set Leonard back on his heels. "Wha- who – what the purple bird fuck?" Leonard finally stammered out.

"You heard what I said," he replied. "I don't need to explain myself any further. Your baseless accusations of some twisted evil plot can be put to rest now, Leonard."

"No, no, no. There's something else going on here. I don't believe anyone could be as hateful as you, especially if you're not actually trying to date her; if you were just messing up my 'meant to be' with Penny, you're the most hateful, sadistic bastard I've ever known," Leonard growled.

"Oh again with the hateful remark," Sheldon sighed as he rolled his eyes. "Let it go, Leonard. I'm not the one shouting empty insults and curses over and over. If anyone's behavior has been hateful, it's yours. I've retained control over both my temper and my tongue. Are we done here?"

"Not by a long shot, _buddy_," Leonard retorted, secure in the knowledge that Sheldon wouldn't get the sarcasm practically dripping from his tone. "I'm going to figure this out, and when I do, there's going to be trouble."

He moved to turn and go to his room, but Sheldon's voice arrested his movement. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"And why is that?"

Gesturing to his laptop, Sheldon led the way over to the desk. He quickly pulled up the GPS tracking program, displaying to a stunned Leonard his own movements from the week. "If you persist in stalking Penny, I have ample evidence here to turn over to Pasadena's finest," he explained in a voice so cold and serious it surprised even him

"What the fuck is this?" Leonard tried to shout, but in his shock at both seeing the GPS data as well as hearing Sheldon's best Dirty Harry impression it came out as something just above a squeak.

"You now have on your person two GPS tracking chips that regularly transmit data to a secure server. I can now know your precise location with a few clicks of a mouse," Sheldon purposefully withheld the true number of trackers from his roommate, knowing that Leonard would undertake a full scan of his possessions. Leaving the existence of two of the four unacknowledged guaranteed his continued monitoring capability.

If it was possible, Leonard looked even more freaked out than before. "Are you kidding me? What the hell gives you the right to play God here?"

Spinning around to look at the other man, Sheldon pursed his lips before picking up his iPad. A few taps later he was showing a highlighted section of text: "Section 17, paragraph J, subsection I of the Roommate Agreement states that in the event that I become concerned either for your own safety or the safety of our friends from you, I am allowed to – in the common parlance – lo-Jack you so that I know where you are at all times. You both signed and initialed. A couple people mentioned how haggard Penny was and how you seemed to be going to the Cheesecake Factory at least once a day. I put two and two together and activated the GPS protocols in the Roommate Agreement."

"Well I'll be damned," Leonard breathed before staggering over and flopping heavily back onto the couch.

Sensing the energy shift in the room, Sheldon got to his feet and stood in front of his roommate. "No, but if you keep following Penny around without her consent, you will be," he promised in an emotional tone full of subconscious Texan twang.

Looking up, Leonard promised himself that for once in his life he wasn't done fighting over a girl "This isn't over," he promised, summoning what dignity he could muster and looking up into Sheldon's gaze before finally storming off to his room.

With hands that shook from adrenaline bleeding off after the confrontation, Sheldon reached onto a shelf behind his laptop and turned off a camera that had surreptitiously recorded the whole conversation. He stared at the hallway for a long moment, considering his options. After reaching a decision, he pulled out his phone and called a long-unused number. "Hello, Rick? Dr. Sheldon Cooper here. Yes, I'm calling in the favor. How soon can you get to Pasadena?"

* * *

**A/N: There we go! I hope you enjoyed this effort. Constructive criticism and feedback are always appreciated. **

**Thank you very much!  
**


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